Mark: I didn’t realize coming into marriage how much idealism and unrealistic expectations drove my everyday thinking and perspective. When my expectations weren’t met, my “slow fade of unrealistic expectations” led to disappointment and discouragement....
Jill: Imagine this: You finish dropping your last child off at college, you work through some of the heavy emotions in the car ride home, and you sit down at dinner once you get back home. You’ve made it to a major milestone: An empty nest. But wait… Who...
“I’m leaving. I have no intention of returning. I’m pursuing the other relationship and I want a divorce.” Jill: The hardest day of my life was when I heard those words. My husband walked out of the house and my whole life turned upside down. Mark: When I uttered...
Mark: Jill and I developed our marriage ministry because we wanted to use our own marriage pain and healing work to help others, and boy did we get a huge number of requests once we started offering marriage coaching. Jill: You know, we’ve received hundreds of...
Dear Mark and Jill, I don’t like to be late to anything, and especially not to church. When I realize we’ll be late, my energy is zapped, I get frustrated and shut down. My spouse, on the other hand, is less concerned with being on time. This has been a...
Jill: If you’ve been following us on Instagram and Facebook or seen some of our past blog posts, then you know that we recently traveled to Uganda to minister to the marriages of pastors there. Mark: We were also able to teach on relationships at Uganda Christian...
Jill: Mark and I often say that we have been married for 39 years—29 of them happily. Mark: That’s right. In the 10 unhappy years, our marriage was a mess in many ways. You wouldn’t have thought it looking in from the outside because we were doing everything “right.”...
You may recall that Mark and I are doing marriage training in Uganda for pastors and their wives. In case you missed it, you can hear the whole story here in Episode 135: To Uganda with Love. To make sure you continue to receive encouragement and value for your...
Mark: We’ve written this before we left, but you’ll be reading this article right when we’re in the middle of ministering to marriages in Uganda and Tanzania. Jill: That’s right! God literally connected dots that caused our lives to intersect with...
Jill: You know, summer is one of my favorite seasons. The sun is out, I get to tend to my garden, and I love getting to enjoy time with our grandchildren while they are on school break. Mark: I do as well. Along with summer, though, comes busy schedules, BBQs to...
Jill: I think it’s accurate to say that most of our conversations as Mark & Jill 1.0 (before our crisis) were not very emotionally-safe conversations. But now as Mark & Jill 2.0 (since we have been intentionally investing in our marriage), our conversations...
Ask any parent and they will tell you all the things they have sacrificed for their newborn, toddler, child, teen, or young adult. When Mark and I were in the thick of parenting, we often sacrificed our time, energy, finances, and more for our family. We still do at...
If there is one principle I have learned in nearly 40 years of marriage, it’s the principle that love is a choice. It’s a decision. It is not a feeling. Dr. Gary Chapman believes that as well because Love Is a Choice is the name of his newest book. Dr. Gary Chapman is...
Years of mentoring hurting couples and navigating our own hurting relationship have led us to conclude that the number one cause of divorce isn’t money or sex or infidelity or even communication. These are all secondary issues of the deeper issue. They are symptoms of...
When Mark and I went through the dark season in our marriage, it’s no surprise that we sought out counseling. However, what most people find surprising is that our counselor focused more on untangling our childhoods than our skills as a couple. That was exactly what...
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