I’m excited to share with you that I’m pregnant…with another book! Ha! That caught your eye, didn’t it! (My parents are probably picking themselves up off the ground. Breathe in…breathe out mom and dad. It’s another BOOK! I’m really too old to be pregnant anyway!)
This time I’m partnering with favorite Hearts at Home conference speaker, Dr. Kathy Koch. Dr. Kathy and I are both passionate about equipping parents and advocating for kids. We are blending our passions into the next book in the No More Perfect series with the book No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids For Who They Are.
Here is an excerpt from the Introduction of the book:
Every parent has secret hopes and dreams for his or her child. Sometimes we are aware of those dreams and sometimes they are buried deep inside of us, rising to the surface only when the bubble of expectation is burst into a million pieces. The sooner we become aware of our expectations and align them with reality, the better it is for us and our children.
Every child deserves to be celebrated for who they are. When we can identify the unique design of each of our children resisting the urge to compare them to ourselves, their siblings, or other children, we set them free to be all they are created to be. Allowing our children the freedom to be their true selves is one of the best gifts we can give them.
I’m excited about this book because I believe it will bring freedom to our kids to be truly who they are in a way that No More Perfect Moms has been bringing freedom to moms to be truly who they are!
I will be sharing more in the coming days and weeks, but I wanted you to be among the first to know! The book will be out in March 2014…just in time for our National Hearts at Home conference where Dr. Kathy Koch will serve as one of our keynote speakers! What I have seen at our conferences is that when Dr. Kathy speaks…moms listen! You will love her!
In celebration of this new book, today’s blog hop topic is No More Perfect Kids and we have all kinds of moms that are linking up to share their “No More Perfect Kids” stories. You’ll definitely enjoy the stories and you’ll be reminded that you are normal and your kids are normal after reading today’s blog hop posts!
I’m also going to give away two copies of No More Perfect Moms today! To enter, hop over to at least two of the blogs that are linked to my blog today. (If you are reading this in email, you’ll find the blog hop links here!)
Come back and leave a comment on this post about what you loved about what you read on two of the linked blogs! You’ll then be entered into the drawing to win a copy of No More Perfect Moms!
Jill, this was my first visit to your website and participating in your blog hop. I would really like to win your book. I’m a mom of three little girls (4, 2, & 1) and really struggle with perfection.
The posts I read both resonated with me as a SAHM. Here are my takeaways from them: (1) we have to remember that none of us are perfect and not expect perfection from our developing children. Instead, we need to pick up on cues when they need rest, food, quiet time, etc. and not jump right in with the commands, expecting obedience when they simply need a hug. (2) Appearances do matter, but sometimes we have to pick our battles with our kids. Do I really want to risk all-out war over a mismatched outfit when we’re just going to the store? Probably not. But if we’re going to church, that might be different.
Thanks for hosting the link-up. Blessings to you!
Keri @ Growing in His Glory
Great takeaways, Keri!
I loved the comment — Every child deserves to be celebrated for who they are.
I learned that (1) I need to read the cues of my children and (2) to be patient and kind myself if I expect it from my children.
“I’m sick of feeling guilty for not giving more to my kids. This foolish idea that parents should want to give their children a better life than they themselves had is rubbish. The goal for our children should not be happiness but self-denial for the sake of the Cross. But right now they’re not getting that, and that’s largely my fault. ” (http://www.growinginhisglory.com/2013/06/battling-entitlement-in-our-homes.html)
Wow! Talk about what I have been struggling with personally and with my son. I feel guilty when I don’t allow my son to have brand new shoes every two months, when he doesn’t get a new video game every month, when he has been bad and his game is taken away from him or when he wants something new he has to earn it. I feel this is for the better character of my son and shows him resposibilty and sometimes I feel pressure and a horrible mother when I stand firm.
“Are we really demonstrating to them what God wants for their lives by demanding an outward and impossible standard that they can never attain?” (http://mrsjtc.blogspot.com/2013/07/no-more-perfect-kids.html)
Loved this question. Really made me think. I am a single mother to an eight year old boy and it is really hard for me to accept what others say about him being such a well behaved child. What they see is, “He is such a good boy, always says yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir, thank you, please, etc.” What I see is he did not say thank you to EVERYONE who came to see him play ball, he did NOT tell me thank you or he demanded to go to the mexican place to eat instead of asking. I must step back and remember he is 8, he will not be polite and good all the time, but for the most part he is a well behaved and child and so I should be greatful and thankful for that.
Great lessons learned Paula!
I read Pruning Princesses and Why Can’t They Be Like Me? Both are subjects that have been on my heart lately. I have personally been struggling with how much importance to place on my personal appearance and realized that I was trying to control my daughters appearance as if she was an extension of me. But she’s not. She is her own person and I need to treat her as such and let her express herself in appropriate ways. I always said that I would not be that mom who would let her kids leave the house looking like a ragamuffin. Then I realized there are worse things, and we are all free to express ourselves the way we want to…within reason. As for the more like me article…I wish my kids would be more like me sometimes, but actually they are a lot like me when I was their age! I didn’t end up the way I am overnight and neither will they, no matter how they end up. And the truth is, they pick up a lot from me…like my bad temper, and being disorganized. My focus now is to try to handle everything they do with love and grace, like our Father does for us. If they were to pick that up from me eventually, I would be very happy! And, I would be ecstatic about winning your book too! I have been wanting to read it for a while now but haven’t yet!
Heather, these are great takeaways. I love how you’ve realized that you were treating your daughter’s appearance as if she was an extension of you. Great insight!
Jill, I enjoyed reading your blog hop. It will be wonderful to win your book and after reading it I will pass it onto my daughter. (1) Appearances may look different to me yet I have learn to enjoy my grandson style. My oldest grandson wears mismatch socks, bowties and shirts. Which is his own style and he love it. (2) No on is perfect. Letting our children and grandchildren be themselves and grow. Keeping our ears open and listen to what they have to say. Respecting each other for who they are.
Thank you for hosting the blog hop. I liked the post comparing our child teaching to the training of Ricochet the dog- especially the reminder of Max Lucado’s quote about children being a book to study- not a blank slate. I love that quote.
I also enjoyed the post about caring too much about your child’s appearance. I grew up with a mom who cared about my appearance, and I often dressed a certain way just to buck her. I was determined not to do that with my kids. But it is easy to fall into that trap!
I would love to win the new book. I really enjoyed No More Perfect Moms!
No more perfect kids… I love the book “No More Perfect Moms,” and it helped the way I look at myself and my kids. However, if I don’t consciously remember what I learned, I fail again and again.
My oldest son never did well in school. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart; it was that school bored him, and the social aspect was too much for him to handle. He should have graduated this year, but he chose not to do his schoolwork for many years. So, the wonderful, sweet, intelligent boy was not a senior, but started this school year as a sophomore and ended as a junior. Not wanting to further humiliate himself, he decided he wouldn’t return to school in the 2013-14 school year. He’s going to get his GED.
During graduation season, I found myself angry and hurt. My friends with kids teh same age were talking about how proud they were of their kids for getting a 4.0, graduating in the top 10% of their class, etc. And here I had all of these wonderful plans for him… my dreams of him getting a good GPA, going to prom (which he actually did), and graduating, and proudly walking across the stage. I was almost devastated that it didn’t work out.
Then I realized those were MY hopes and dreams.
He’s 18 now, and he’s been making these decisions about his future for several years. He is a great learner and can tell you anything you want to know about the Titanic. He has always been able to have adult conversations with others, even though he was a child. We told him and told him that if he didn’t do his work, he wouldn’t graduate on time. And this is the path he chose. We wanted him to be better than us, too.
For some reason, he has chosen to do things the hard way.
And then we understood… Even though we did well in school, he is just like my husband and me. We’ve both made bad decisions, especially in our younger adult years.
When our son said felt like a failure, we told him that not doing well in school doesn’t make him a failure in life. He’s only 18!
He is a kind, considerate, loving, caring, sweet, and compassionate young man, and I’m not sure you can actually “teach” that.
He’s not perfect, but neither are we. And I think it’s important to remember that we have to trust God to mold him into who He wants Noah to be. Not who we want him to be.
Tough lessons for the Mom and Dad!
Christy, this is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Enjoyed reading Silas’ Day. He sounds like a great little guy to be around. Never a dull moment and good for a few chuckles. Also appreciated Pruning Princesses as I have 2 grandgirls. They too like to pick out crazy, mismatched outfits. I’m thankful their mom just “goes with the flow” and doesn’t let it bother her. Yes, it’s not a battle to fight.
I think this might be just what I am looking for. All of my children have no inhibitions and no problems with self esteem and are who they are no matter who is around, but as great as that sounds, their “fervor” is sometimes embarrassing to me. I have been inhibited my whole life and was taught to care very much about appearance and other’s perceptions. I look forward to reading this book whether I win it or not!
1. Growing in His Glory- whet a beautiful title! Entitlement. Battles with that and my 19 year old just tonight. He wants to get an apartment, but still wants us to pay his car insurance etc… While he has his freedom. He was very upset when we declined. Therefore I was very upset with the request, what we have gone through and the disrespect received. This blog helped me see that MY sense of entitlement is also a problem.
2.It was very refreshing to read Melanie Davis’ “trip to the park”. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one being short tempered, forgetful, and stressed! I have to go back home to get things I forget or go back to a child to apologize ask forgiveness and grow from the situation. Oh, and those getting the child to go potty- before leaving the house in a rush, why won’t the child just go potty?! Thank you for showing me I’m not the only one. Grace and forgiveness… Thank you Lord!
Jill,
I can’t wait for your new book. I love the No More Perfect Moms. I actually feel sane again. Enjoyed reading some of the blogs. Love the mom who had to ride in the police car with her kids fighting in the back! Though I love my children, they have provided many embarrassing moments for me! I am finally learning that their sins are not due to my parenting and that we were all born with a sinful nature. I also liked the blog about not being happy in your home. I have felt that myself very strongly this past year. I have three children: two girls and a boy in the middle. I have gone in my room just to get a grip numerous times before I can calmly talk to them (let’s just say I’m in my room for a LONG time!) I appreciate that moms are speaking out about how life really is behind closed doors. We’re all in the same boat and it’s easier to support each other with that knowledge.
Well said! Perfectly matched to me! We are all in the same boat, sharing is a good thing.
1. I read “Growing In His Glory” about entitlement in our children. What a good post! A good reminder for me to battle against the spirit of entitlement that is so prevalent in our culture. Will be visiting there again for her insights.
2. I read “Pruning Princesses” about appearances. Although I don’t have girls, I can relate. It reminded me of how “me” focused I can be, esp when I’m worrying about how my kids make me look, rather than what God wants to do in us and teach us through it.
I love Third Thursday Blog Hop! Thanks for hosting!