Mark and I have been working with our teenage sons this summer on the concept of “freedoms.” We recently sat down with the boys and had a discussion about how we use our time. We discussed three categories that our activities fall into:
Things we have to do.
Things we get to do.
Things we want to do.
Things we have to do would include activities that manage our home and personal life: household chores, mowing, housekeeping, laundry, homework, etc.
Things we get to do are opportunities that God gives us to serve others: help an elderly neighbor, assist family friends move across town, carry in groceries for the pregnant mom next door, etc.
Things we want to do would be the privileges we want to have: having a friend over, going to the pool, playing video games, being on the computer, etc.
We then explained that the way we get to do the things we want to do is by being responsible and having a good attitude when doing the things we have to do and occasionally get to do.
Doing the things we have to do earns us the freedom to do the things we want to do.
It’s taken a few weeks for them to catch on (and a few times where Mark and I have really had to be the bad guy) but they are definitely starting to get it. In general, we’re seeing more responsibility and better attitudes. And when we don’t, they already know what the consequences will be.
What about you? What concepts are you working on with your kids? Do you have any strategies to share?
I know it must not be smooth all the time having two teenage boys. I have an almost 3 year old son and am giving birth to another son this coming week, so I cannot even imagine having two teenage boys. Having said that we're working really hard with our oldest on his attitude. It is amazing how such a young person can already have a "bad" attitude.
So, even though I am not there yet, I appriciate your wriitng this..and showing me the teaching never really stops, but does have its rewards.
http://housemefromthewind1.blogspot.com/2010/06/did-you-really-think-you-could-beat.html
While my strategies may not be recommended by any experts, I hope it gives you a good chuckle on a rainy, NY Wednesday!
God bless,
Maryellen
This is a great strategy for all ages, keeping everything in perspective.
These are great! I know explaining things out for some children can be time consuming, but I think it is especially important for them to understand the reasons behind why we choose to parent like we do. Don't get me wrong, they don't need reasons all the time, but I have found that explaining something out and really showing them where their role is in this helps with the responsibility part. Thanks Jill!
This is great, Jill! Thanks for sharing!
I actually just wrote a post on our summer strategy. My kids are much younger than yours, so my strategy is a lot different.
http://tnstayinthecarmom.blogspot.com/2010/06/summer-chore-list.html
Maryellen and Cathy,
Great posts! Thanks for sharing!