We all know marriage isn’t easy. Bringing together two people with different life experiences, opinions, and family backgrounds takes a whole lot of intentionality, grace, and growth.

When neurological differences enter this complex equation, you need an additional set of tools in order to maintain a healthy marriage.

My guest, Shawna Meek, is here to help us understand what it can look like to navigate neurological differences within a marriage relationship. She has been through three separations with her husband, infidelity, and his late diagnosis as an adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is a professional certified coach and an author. Shawna’s primary focus is supporting women who have gone through betrayal and trauma, and helping couples who have experienced infidelity in a neurodiverse marriage where Autism or Asperger’s profiles are present.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What it means to have a love addiction
• Some of the ways neurodivergence affects a marriage
• Strategies for helping a spouse who is neurodivergent
• And more!

I’m excited to share this conversation with you today as we discuss some helpful tools for navigating a neurodivergent marriage.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Connect with Shawna on her website, Instagram, or Facebook
• [BOOK] Determined for More: A Story of Perseverance Through Divorce, Betrayal Trauma, Emotional Deprivation and Autism
• Loop Earplugs
• 8D Audio
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Allow your spouse to teach you about themselves. Neurodivergence can present itself in many different ways. Even if your spouse has an official diagnosis, do your best to not make assumptions about what they struggle with. Allow them to share their quirks, triggers, and challenges with you—and ask about how you can offer support as they navigate those elements of their experience.

2) It’s not about you. It’s easy to feel as though your neurodivergent spouse has an issue with you personally. However, that isn’t always the case. Challenges such as an inability to maintain eye contact, becoming easily overwhelmed by certain situations, or missing emotional cues are all very common in people who are neurodivergent. If you can learn what kinds of situations may be distressing to your spouse, you may be able to help them avoid potential triggers or understand what is going on when you notice certain reactions. This doesn’t mean you’re responsible for managing their experience—but it does mean you can approach these moments with greater empathy.

3) Navigate each other’s differences. This is at the core of every successful marriage. We all have a different way of viewing the world and moving through it as we go about our daily lives. The things you will need to understand in a neurodivergent marriage may be different than what neurotypical couples experience, but the principle remains the same. If you can work with your spouse to navigate your differences and appreciate them, you will have a strong foundation to build your marriage on.

About Shawna:

Shawna Meek is a professional certified coach, author, APSATS board of directors’ member, and coaching supervisor. She specializes in helping women and couples navigate betrayal, trauma, infidelity, and neurodiverse marriage at her practice, Living Stones Coaching. She is married to her neurodiverse husband, Kevin, and they have four children together. Shawna knows that through the darkest times, Jesus has a purpose in creating healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

 

 

 

 

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