Wow! Yesterday’s conversation about toy organization was great! I learned some new ideas from our practical discussion. I am loving these wonderful dialogues…we are learning so much from each other!
Congratulations to Stephanie (daveandstephy) and Becky (ministrytomotherhood)! You each won a copy of Karen Ehman’s Hearts at Home book The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized. I’ll send you an email with further instructions about getting your book.
Today’s discussion centers around the concept of motherhood as a profession. Twenty-four years ago when I began staying home with my kids, I felt like I was wasting my teaching degree. If someone asked me what I did, I would answer, “Oh, I’m just a mom.”
That answer downplayed the importance of what I was doing everyday as a mom.
One morning I was whining to God about not using my degree and wondering when I could pursue my teaching career. I sensed God whisper to my heart, “Jill, I want you to consider what you do everyday as a mom as your career. I want you to think of mothering as the profession it is. What you are doing is valuable.”
Why I had never considered this before, I don’t know. But I hadn’t. But that day my perspective began to shift. I got up every morning with a sense of purpose. I began to set goals for my kids. I became a much more intentional mom. And I began to answer the “What do you do?” question with, “I’m a wife and a mom and I love my job!”
Eventually I knew I had to share my experience with other moms and that’s why I wrote Professionalizing Motherhood. Today I’m giving away 2 copies of Professionalizing Motherhood. To enter the drawing, simply share what you do for continuing education in your profession of motherhood. How are you sharpening your mothering/homemaking skills? This is an important part of taking a profession seriously, you know.
Oh and by the way…if you work outside the home, you are still a woman in the profession of motherhood. You have two professions that both need your best. A friend of mine who works full-time told me after reading Professionalizing Motherhood, “even though the book was written with moms-at-home in mind, you helped me realize that I wasn’t thinking of mothering as my second profession and my family was getting my leftovers instead of my best. This book has helped me keep my heart at home and my family my priority!”
Gotta love that kind of feedback!
Moving to Bloominton as a brand new stay at home mom was a gift from God. Attending Mom 2 Mom every week, having you as a guest speaker on several occasions, was the perfect validation of my choice to stay home. Since then, I attend Hearts at Home (or get the home package), follow your (and several other related) blog and pray in thanksgiving I have this incredible opportunity to be home. Thanks for reinforcing the choice of motherhood as a professional option.
I ditto this comment to the T. Thanks for starting M2M and H@H. I gain so much knowledge and validation. I just picked up this book at hearts this year. I just started it (had to finish Dr. Lehman’s Sheet Music first), but plan to get into it more this week and next while I am on vacation in Tampa (which I think is funny that u will be down there at the same time I am and that u spoke at my church last night – I feel like I am a savage stalker.) 🙂
That’s funny, Tirza! Did you have fun in Tampa? I did!
Ha! That’s easy– I attend Hearts at Home every year! This year, before I got in the car, I posted to facebook: “Taking a professional development day- going to Hearts at Home.” I always come back completely refreshed and refocused.
I also take part in a mom’s bible study, where we can share our struggles and offer support in this walk.
Being a stay at home mom is a hard topic to discuss with some people. Thankfully, I think I have seen a little bit of a culture shift toward more acceptance of allowing women to make the choice that is right for them and their family, instead of straight out judgment (one way or the other!). Either that, or I have just started to constantly surround myself with women who are more accepting!
Thanks for another good discussion starter today!
I am an avid book reader. I, so far, have only read one geared toward raising children….but I have read several about becoming a better wife/woman, etc. These, I believe, have a trickle down effect. When you are striving to be the best woman you can be, it helps tremendously in your efforts as a mother. I also am discovering how much I love these blogs. I am a new blogger myself, and thru that have found several very encouraging blogs that I now follow. I feel blessed to be able to stay home with my children and create a haven from the chaos that has become our world.
I have the book Professionalizing Motherhood and I love it! Thank you so much to Jill for writing it!
I go to Mom 2 Mom twice a month and I went to my 2nd Hearts at Home conference this year. Also, reading books like this one help me to be a better mom. I also find reading other mom’s blogs help. I love fellow mommy bloggers!
I just love being a stay at home mom with 3 beautiful healthy children. I also when asked what do you do for a living will respond with oh i don’t work, I’m just a stay at home mom. It’s a tough job, but a very rewarding one. It’s hard for me to go to any kind of mom programs as we live in the country and my husband takes our 1 car to work everyday, so i read a lot of christian parenting books and they always have great resources and websites to go to….like Jill’s 🙂
But most of all i try to run to the arms of Jesus first because he gives me the strength i need and the wisdom….Amen.
I read. I attend Hearts at Home and Mom 2 Mom. but I think the biggest thing I do it talk to other moms. I have relationships with other moms who are in the trenches with me. dealing with the same stuff I am dealing with and that is such an encouragement to me! and I learn some new stuff along the way too!
I love this concept of professionalizing motherhood. I have a full time job outside of the home and don’t get to spend as much time as I’d like with my son. We go to the library together on Saturdays, and I try to find some books which will teach him things while we play, do art, and read. I’d love to read your book, hopefully if I don’t win, the library will have it!
Seriously, I’m not doing enough! I follow your website and a few others for encouragement, but that is about all. I plan to purchase this book, if I don’t win it first. 🙂
I have a stack of books a mile high… that I should be reading! this is a hard one for me, because I never thought this is what I wanted, just thought it was what I was “supposed” to do as a good little Christian girl! God gave me 4 kids in 4 1/2 years and while I love them all very much, it’s a little overwhelming …basically I am just selfish! Working on it and each day I work on at least one successful moment! 🙂
Being a full time worker outside of the home, I struggle with this concept everyday. I want so desperately to give my kids and my family the best of me instead of the leftovers…I greatly appreciate the chance to win this book to help me with this constant struggle. Life is hard and double duty seems even harder sometimes. 🙂
This blog post was the perfect thing for me today. My husband and I are considering starting a family (we have no children right now), and I have had trouble accepting the fact that I will be a working mother. I was raised by a stay-at-home mom, and wanted to do the same thing. However, God’s plans are sometimes different than what we want, and I will be a working part-time mom at some point. I was very encouraged this morning when you mentioned that mothering is a profession even when you are not with your children all day. I love the idea of keeping your heart at home while doing your best at work as well. When I am eventually a mother, I want to strive to keep reading books, blogs, and Scripture on how to be the best wife/mother/professional I can be. Thank you for that!
Jill,
Over the last few years I have fallen in love with being a stay at home mother/wife/homemaker. I believe that it is the ministry that God has called me to do. For me it is something I take very seriously…but I see it as a calling and a ministry which, for me, goes deeper than a profession…which is what I think you mean. I love reading wonderful books by Titus 2 women like you, reading blogs and articles by Titus 2 women, learning from the Titus 2 women in our church and spending wonderful, sweet time in God’s Word allowing his teaching and encouragement to wash over me and mold me into the woman He is calling me to be.
I wrote a Family Business Plan. I need to have clear goals set and agreed upon by husband and I so we are sure to be on the same page. Its 2 pages clearly defining our top priorities, and some goals as a family and individually for the year. It helps me plan ahead and make decisions that line up with our defined priorioties. I also chose a bible verse for each of us for the year to pray. I was a successful manager in my first career before being a mom and this business planning process was very important each year. Then periodically and at the end of the year it is easy to see all the progress and celebrate successes!
Oooooo….I like the concept of a “Family Business Plan.”
I have desperately begun to seek God out and ask for His perfect parenting advice. I also read awesome blogs (such as this one) for ideas, encouragement and such. I consume books that help transform me and my mind and attitude because when I am changed, I can love, be a wife and parent better than before. My number one ministry is within my home..Im convinced of it 🙂
Thanks for your blog!!
I read a lot of books for encouragement. I make a point of taking my kids to the library where there are other moms who also stay home with their kids. It’s tough because most moms that I know work outside the home. Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I work harder now than I did at work. My house is also messy a lot of the time because we are always in it cooking, eating, playing and making crafts. I find that I miss those quiet lunches at work where no one wanted bites of my food, and the commute to work gave me time for uninterrupted prayer. However, I am happy to spend as much time as I can with my kids because I know in a few years they will be grown.
To further my homemaker education, I’m always tring to read new blog, read new books, and listen to the advice of other Christian women. I know that it is really easy to get bogged down when alot of the thing you do don’t get seen by those in your home. We are taking care of everyone in our family, and while hugs and flowers from little ones are the best pay rate a mom could have, it is easy to lose oneself in the mundane of the day to day. It’s so important to have goals and lists to really help quantify what we are doing. Not to mention its great motivation to realize that God things this is the most important job we can do……..it’s just really hard keep the focus day after day…..I struggle with this.
Right now I have to work full time and I keep “my heart at home.” I attend Hearts at Home and I am part of a MOPS group. I also try to wait on the Lord in the hope that someday I will be able to stay home more! Thank you for the reminder that I do have two professions!
My husband and I attended Growing Kids God’s Way” years ago. It has served as a good foundation for our parenting. I’ve found the need, though, to continue to seek out parenting information, especially with three tweens! We have attended several parenting workshops at church and I read anything online that may be useful. I also ask others for their input. Lastly, but most importantly, We work on our marriage. I think this is the continuing ed my kids need me to do more than anything else!
Mark and I used to lead “Growing Kids God’s Way” classes at our church. We loved it!
In 2000, I had five boys who were five and under. I had just given birth to identical twin boys who were our last attempt at getting a girl in the bunch. What a blessing my kids have been to me! That year, I was hired as the first paid Children’s Director at our church and began a MOPS group at the same time. Oh, it was so much fun! And it kept my mind sharp, which I felt that I needed. I was the coordinator for three years and then passed the reigns on to someone else. I am proud to report that the group is still going after ten years. Also, I have always loved to read and write, and I have read a lot of books over the years. Now that my boys are 16, 15, 12, and 11 (X2), I have returned to college to finish my degree. I only have 11 courses left after this semester, and I will earn the bachelors degree I started working on in 1990. Yippee! I still read and participate in a blogging for books program, I write two blogs (one concerning domestic violence and one for my book reviews), and I work in the kids department at my church and try to encourage other mothers of young children. Being out in the community helps me be a better mom.
I read a lot of books as well (this one looks great!) and am involved with MOPS and parenting classes at church. My most important focus, however, is consistently reading God’s Word and basing my mothering on that. If I have a full cup, it will overflow on my kids.
This post alone ministered to me, so I know the book will! I really needed to read this today (and honestly, most days). I’ve been a SAHM for a little over a year, and still find myself struggling sometimes with “just” being a mom. I see other moms that do that and so much more, and I start playing the dangerous comparison game. Or a rejection when I attempt something outside of mothering, such as writing, gets me particularly down. God is really working on me in regard to this issue. I’ve found that praying about this issue intentionally is very important for me, and talking with other moms that struggle with this issue is invaluable. Thank you for sharing and for your generosity in these giveaways!
Tough question! As a sahm of 4 boys, I try to make sure that I am setting short term and long term goals and really long term goals of where I want each child to be and then try to make sure I am working towards those goals – things like…. getting their ownselves up in the morning, being capable of taking care of themselves and their surroundings (knowing how to do laundry, cook, clean etc.), managing their own time, to being respectful to their parents so that they will then be respectful to a future wife and be a nurturing parent and a productive, educated, motivated adult.
This is excellent! Thanks for reminding me and providing good examples!
I would so love to read this book. I just had my 2nd child on Monday. I am part of MOPS and lead a mom’s Bible Study at the church, which have really helped me!!
It took me a while to realize this was my job! And I am happy to say that after 10 years, I LOVE MY JOB! What I had to learn is that because this job is 24/7 it is important to find some sort of balance in yourself. Finding who you are. I also like finding positive people to be around and nurturing those relationships.
Being a mom is the great & hardest profession!! Just like I have professional development for being a teacher as a mom it is invaluable to have professional development as a mom. I have been part of Mom To Mom since I became a mom 5 years ago. I took one year off as I started back to work and I kept feeling that something was missing. The following year we started a night Mom To Mom which was great for me! My kids get to go to Awana and I get time to learn more about being the best mom and wife I can be. Plus it is great to have other moms learning along side of me and to have mentor mom to encourage and support us through! I also go to the Hearts at Home convention. I leave from my time at the convention rejuvenated and inspired. Not to mention it is a great get away with girlfriends!
something as simple as a to do list every morning/week helps me daily, today it was pack the car, get everyone dressed and fed (I’m on vacation) and in the car by 530 am. Its setting the short term goals that keep me going. I love and practice some of what has been said above also, but could always use room for improvment, part of the continuing process of professionalizing motherhood!
I am not currently a SAHM, though I am eagerly anticipating the day that I will be – hopefully less than three years from now! Because I was past the midway point of a military career when my husband and I married, we decided for me to finish out my 20 years for the retirement benefits. Currently my husband is a SAHD. He does a great job with our two children – 4 and 1 – but we are both looking forward to the day that we can change roles. So please know, those of you who struggle with being at home, that I would trade places with you in a HEARTBEAT. (Though I’m sure there will be days, four years from now, when I long for some of the “freedom” I currently have as a worker outside the home.)
For now, one thing I do to help with our household operations is a monthly menu plan. I also do various forms of batch cooking to assist in this endeavor. I’m still learning, but it works very well when I’ve got the plan in place!
I was just talking about this same subject yesterday to two ladies from my am ladies bible study. I kind of felt I missed the mark when I stayed home to take care of my family and home. I downplay my role as a mother all the time when someone asks “What do you do for a living?” I find myself so privileged to stay home and manage the affairs of my house and children. In a sense I feel guilty and not normal. I tried going back to work and thought things were going well just to find out that my relationship with my husband was suffering. Praise God that I got laid off. At the time that I got laid off I could not understand why, but now I know.
I praise God for all his provisions and protection over my family.
I echo everyone else’s comments about reading LOTS, being a part of a mom to mom group, and attending Hearts at Home each year–these really keep me motivated and learning.
Another thing I started recently was using Karen Ehman’s idea of “Mom’s Brain in a Binder.” My binder includes family schedules, shopping lists, meal plans, cleaning schedules… and much more (I got more organizing tips from your book–My Hearts at Home). Having all this info in one place makes me feel like I’m a prepared professional ready to manage our family!
I read lots of blogs and books to stay in tune with mommy ideas. I also attend a MOPS group in town which is a great resource!!
Probably meeting with other moms and dialoguing with them is the biggest way I am keeping up my mothering skills. I am also currently reading The Missional Mom and that is helping me realize some important things that I should be doing as a mom and Christ follower!
Joinging an AWESOME MOMS group has really helped me in becoming a better mom and improving my mothering skills. There are moms there from all ages and stages of life and God has truly blessed me through this group!!!!
Once a week I attend a local group sponsored by our local school district’s community education department called Brighter Beginnings. After meeting all together with our children (through 5 years old) for some songs, our kids get to play and participate in a craft for an hour while the moms meet down the hall to discuss a parenting topic. Sometimes the topic is based on an article we read for homework, we might have a guest speaker who is an expert in the field, or we might watch a video on the topic. Our discussions are always “real”, and the other moms bring such different perspectives and force me to think deeper about what we are discussing.
I have also attended some parenting classes and seminars through the Love and Logic Institute. (I’m very new to Hearts at Home, so I have not yet attended a conference but am excited to attend my first one this Fall!)
I also try to read on a regular basis, whether it’s about children’s personality types, how they learn differently, discipline techniques, health issues, etc. Whatever my current issue is, I often find a book that will help me think deeper to find a solution that will work for our family. The only problem is that my reading list is so long, my children (now 5 years and 3 years old) will be in college before I finish reading my ever-growing list of books!!!
I love the “Love and Logic” parenting class. Mark and I took that once!
Like you, I have a teaching degree and was a professional mom for many years. I homeschooled both of my daughters through high school. The oldest is now working part-time while attending cosmetology school. The youngest has just finished high school and will begin college in the fall to study for the music ministry. While a SAHM, I did lots of reading and talking to other moms.
Now that my daughters are adults, I have returned to school and am pursuing my MA in Marriage & Family Counseling. My family has always been top priority (after God) so I feel this is a natural continuation of being a professional mom! I pray God will use me to help other families.
I recently read Julie Barnhill’s book “One Tough Mother,” and I’m looking forward to attending my first Hearts at Home conference this year! I went to conferences as a teacher and I loved visiting with peers. I can’t wait for the conference!
I just found your blog today. Actually, looking for sharpening blogs and book recommendations is the primary way I try and learn new skills and habits as a mother. So now I’m looking forward to checking out your resources.
I don’t know what I would do without my Moms of Faith group at church. During the school year we meet once a week and do a study together. Such a great way to study the Word with amazing moms.
I read christian parenting books, follow several christian parenting blogs, but most importantly, I read my Bible, pray, and stay connected to my husband. That makes me a better mom.
Have been a mother for 18 yrs now and have 5 children. I was not a SAHM until my 4th child was born. When I first started staying home, I hate to admit it, but I treated it like a vacation instead of a prefession. I had these ideas that somehow my kids would just care for themselves and the house would stay clean and I could sit around reading novels all day long. I finally got wise a few years ago, and realized I wasn’t doing my family or myself any favors. I thought about that way I thought about my own childhood and how my parental figures cared for me (I had many caregivers and they were rarely my own parents) and realized that I was just following their example, and did not like that realization AT ALL! So, I have been doing “all things as though for God, and not for man.” And trying my best to be a Titus 2 woman to my daughters and an example of such to my sons. I am FAR from perfect, but I make a point of reading about parenting often, focusing on the kind of parent our Heavenly Father is, and praying. Always praying. 😀 I also follow your blog and others like it. I also make saving my family money my job as well. After these 5 years at home, I honestly hope I never have to go back to working outside the home. I can’t think of any other “job” that gives me more satisfaction and fulfillment than making a home for my husband and my children. My heart really is at home! 😀
I have just recently began to seek out and reconnect my relationship with god, I have 2 boys and a husband that I love very much and as a child my mother and grandmother were very involved in church and teaching me right from wrong and I have come to realize that I haven’t done such a good job of this as my son is getting older and learning not so good things at school, I work a full time job as a Nurse and my patients are always getting my 100% but I feel as though I dont give that much at home, I have recently sought out a new church with lots of children involvement, talked to a friend who refered me to this website and blog and got advice from her, started reading the bible all over again and done a lot of praying and in a very short time my life seems to have changed so much and for the better, I am not doing 100% yet but I think it’s a good start! Thanks for sharing your stories!
Mandi,
You might consider reading Real Moms…Real Jesus. It would be good for you in re-connecting with God!
When I moved from working part -time to stay-at-home mom, I hated it. I had wanted the “career”, then through radio shows, books and friends, I have found that I really enjoy being at home. Somedays when asked what I do I really want to respond “well I’m a care giver, a cook, a laundress, a housekeeper, an accountant, a taxi driver, a spiritual guide, a leader of future generations.” Oh if I could really use that line on someone, what fun it would be;)
I continually look for ways to be frugal with our home expenses and events in our lives. I have learned to enjoy vegetable gardening, canning and freezing produce as it really tastes much better in January!!! Thanks for all you do for those of us at home — I appreciate the encouragement when I sit down at the computer!
I have been a SAHM for almost 7 years now, and feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be home with my kids. I often still struggle with the “profession” part of it, particularly on days when I sit down at night and think, what exactly did I do all day??
For me, there are several things I do to help me with my mom “skills”. Just last fall I joined a Mom’s Group at my church and it has been wonderful!! (Our book for the Fall was actually Real Moms Real Jesus – and I how I found your blog :). I also like to try to schedule time with other moms, as well as follow a number of blogs. I completely believe you can learn so much from other moms out there, often times without even knowing it. It really helps to know there are other people going through the same things as you are, and that can offer another perspective. PLanning and having a daily schedule helps, but I think it also helps to be flexible, too. Some of the best moments are the unplanned ones!!
I am SO SO SO excited that you are giving away 2 copies of this book! I have wanted to read it so very much!!! I have a Master’s Degree in Social Work and left the “perfect out of the home” job to be a full time mommy of 2 beautiful kids in 2005. We have since added child number 3 who just turned 4! It had been an ongoing internal battle for quite some time because I too felt that I was “wasting” my education. But the Lord has dramatically moved in this area of my life over the last few years. He led us to begin homeschooling our 8 and 5 y.o. last year and has shown me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. The battle now seems to be from family members (not all of them) who have a difficult time understanding our choices and some who do not support them. (This is mainly because I have a graduate degree and my husband does not have a college education. God has shown us that this means nothing when it comes to obediance and has grown my husband and myself because of this.) But we press on and stand firm knowing that Jesus has us in the palm of His holy hands. Now we have decided to begin the adoption process to bring another child into our home Lord willing. So to continue my education I pray and read, pray and read, pray and read….. Thanks!
I follow a handful of blogs that have to do with being a SAHM/Housewife and crafting/decorating for the home. I have been teaching myself new sewing and other crafting skills and I like to teach my friends the skills that I have learned. We attend a young families bible study that has been great for our marriage and we have created a great group of friends, out of that group there is a group of us ladies that encourage and support each other as well. This is the most demanding job I have had but also the most rewarding. (though I do wish I could have a sick day once in awhile when needed)
Jen,
That’s neat that you are teaching yourself to sew!