Happy WifeToday’s Marriage Monday is a guest post from Hearts at Home 2015 conference speaker Arlene Pellicane. Arlene is giving away one copy of her book 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. If you want to enter, leave a comment on what you remember when you were falling in love with your spouse.

PS…Congrats to Brandi Russell-Eastwood who won Dr. Meg Meeker’s online parenting course, The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids in last week’s giveaway!


ArleneDo you remember when you were falling in love with your spouse?

Or when you held your child for the first time?

For me, you might say my husband James had me at “jello.”  I was a grad student in Virginia Beach at a nursing home ministry one evening.  As I heard a certain young man share with the half-asleep residents in the recreation room, I was wide awake.  Who was this compassionate, funny, God honoring gentleman?  I honestly thought to myself, “I want to marry that man!”

Well, that lightning bolt moment happened almost 20 years ago.  I did get to marry that man from the nursing home!  Recently my husband James and I watched some old videos from our courtship in 1998.  I blushed instantly and it didn’t take long for us to burst out laughing.  Who were those giddy people, plastered together, looking at one another with such eyes of love and longing?  We’re talking rainbows, sugar plum fairies, dancing flowers, the whole thing.

James said with a smile, “I was like Hercules then.  You believed I could do anything.”

Oh, the sweetness of remembering.  As I watched that younger version of myself, it rekindled something in me.

I still want my husband to believe he’s Hercules to me. 

I still want to make him feel like he can do anything. 

When we take a moment to remember where we’ve come from as husband and wife – and how miraculous it all was to meet in the first place – it can make a profound difference in the here and now.

Instead of grumbling about what your husband isn’t and what he hasn’t done lately, you can be filled with gratitude simply because he’s here.

Instead of a milk toast welcome home, you can wrap your arms around him, kiss him deeply and say, “I’m really glad to see you.”

Instead of being nice mannered roommates, you can be warm and affectionate lovers.

I think one key to having a happy marriage is to regularly “remember when….”  Remembering how you fell in love rekindles warm memories.  It helps you to appreciate one another and keeps you from taking the other for granted.


Need some help remembering?  Join Arlene and her husband James on a Cruise to a Happy Marriage, sailing May 15-22 on the Royal Caribbean.  It’s an investment in your marriage (plus a lot of fun in the sun!).

Want regular encouragement?

Subscribe to get Jill's latest content by email.

(You can view our privacy policy here.)

Powered by ConvertKit