*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! We love finding new ways to connect with you, and we hope you enjoy the added experience of watching along as you listen.
Vulnerability can feel like a high-stakes poker game where your only option is to go “all in” and either win big or lose everything. Many of us carry the painful memories of when opening up has gone wrong in the past, and these can keep us from opening up again.
However, when we dare to be vulnerable in spite of our fears, we can find intimacy, connection, and safety on the other side.
While it may feel intimidating to open up to your spouse, we can tell you from experience that this decision can be the key to finally experiencing true connection and building a relationship where you can share your true self.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- The reasons why we resist vulnerability
- Common roots of rejection or fear
- Steps you can take to start practicing vulnerability
- The importance of believing the best about your spouse
- And more!
Vulnerability is something we all struggle with, not just a certain attachment style or personality type. We hope these tips can help you take the first step to opening up to your spouse.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
- [BOOK] No More Perfect Marriages
- The Marriage Crash Course
- The Secure Relationship on Instagram
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Vulnerability is sharing what you are thinking or feeling. It’s no wonder that being vulnerable carries with it so much fear. When we open up to someone else, there is the potential that we will be judged for how we feel. It’s even more difficult to overcome our fear of being vulnerable if it has gone poorly in the past. Choosing to be vulnerable is literally choosing to take the parts of yourself that have been hidden within your heart and speak them out into the world for others to hear—it’s only natural that this will feel scary at first!
2) Jesus practiced vulnerability. There are many occasions in Scripture where Jesus asked others for help and revealed what He truly felt. In Matthew 26:36–46, Jesus shares with His closest friends, His disciples, that He “…is very sorrowful, even to death,” and Jesus follows that up with the request that His friends remain with Him as He prays. If it’s necessary for Jesus to practice vulnerability, then how much more necessary is it for us to overcome our fear of being vulnerable?
3) When it comes to vulnerability, someone has to take the first leap. It’s challenging to open up to our spouse; however, things are not going to change in the relationship if neither one of you takes that first step. Behind the fear that you feel is the longing for safety and acceptance; you just have to be brave enough to make the first move. If your spouse has responded poorly in the past to your attempts at vulnerability, you may consider working with a coach or counselor to help establish some healthy communication patterns.
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