“What does it mean to hold space for someone?”
A listener recently sent us this question—and it’s such a good one.
Simply put, holding space means being emotionally and physically present with someone’s feelings—without judging, making it about you, trying to fix it, or getting defensive.
The beauty of this practice is that it works in almost any relationship. You can hold space for your spouse, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers—you name it!
We don’t know about you, but we’ve noticed the phrase “holding space” showing up everywhere lately. Still, even with its growing popularity, many people aren’t entirely sure what it really means. So whether it’s brand new to you or you’ve heard it before but want to gain a deeper understanding of why it’s valuable and how you can use it to support the people you love, we’re here to unpack what it looks like in action.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Why it’s important to hold space for one another
- How to set yourself up to listen well
- Practical tips for holding space for someone
- And more!
We hope this conversation is helpful as you begin to practice holding space for the people in your life!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Transform Weekend
- Moving from Jill 1.0 to Jill 2.0 | Episode 240
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) This “space” is both physical AND emotional. Holding space for another person means taking the time to literally sit beside them and give them your undivided attention. However, it also means to be willing to sit with their emotions—happy, sad, and everything in between. It’s not always easy to simply be with someone as they process difficult feelings. At first, it may make us feel awkward or uncomfortable—or we may even feel overwhelmed by the depth of their pain. It’s totally normal if this skill doesn’t come naturally to you. However, as you do the personal work to grow more comfortable sitting with hard emotions, you’ll be better equipped to build trust and foster deep, meaningful connection.
2) Being able to hold space is a skill. If this seems like a difficult task to master, there’s a reason why! Holding space for another person is an acquired skill. You won’t do it perfectly the first time you try. But with practice, you can expand your capacity for self-control, patience, and mindfulness. With these skills in your toolbox, you’ll be able to sit with a loved one and listen to them speak without immediately engaging to offer your opinion on what you believe the situation needs.
3) The goal of holding space is to listen. This is the most important aspect of holding space for another person. It sounds easy, but once you begin to practice it, it likely won’t be long before you experience the urge to give advice or suggest practical steps to fix the situation. It’s true that there is a time and a place to do that. However, when you are holding space for someone, it’s most important to listen quietly and then communicate to that person that they are not alone, that they are loved and cared for, and that someone else is aware of what they are feeling.
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