Would you like to know a little-known fact? Here it is: one of the most accessed blog posts on my website is a post titled When a Woman is Addicted to Pornography. It was first published in 2017 and it is still one of the most popular posts people access everyday.
Our world primarily talks about lust and pornography as a “man’s problem” but a 2016 Barna study actually found that 20% of Christian women use porn on a regular basis. These women suffer silently and often feel alone with nowhere to turn.
My guest, Jessica Harris, totally understands that experience. She’s made the journey from being addicted to pornography to being set free. Jessica is recognized as a leading voice talking about female porn use and addiction in the church. Her latest book, Quenched, helps women understand God’s abundant grace when struggling with pornography and sexual shame.
In this conversation, you’ll hear:
- Jessica’s own story of finding freedom from porn
- The three signposts of shame
- How shame keeps us from running to God
- And much more!
This is such an important topic and I hope this episode opens the door to find hope and spark conversations!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- When a Woman is Addicted to Pornography
- [BOOK] Quenched
- The Heart of Man Documentary
- Quenched FREE Study Guide
- Connect with Jessica on her Facebook, Instagram, or website
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Porn often operates in place of a coping mechanism. If you were exposed to porn at a young age, it may have developed in place of normal coping mechanisms. Instead of developing healthy coping mechanisms for when you felt stressed, porn became the way that you coped. So overcoming that addiction includes re-discovering who you are as a person and identifying what skills you still need to develop.
2) Focus on your relationship with God. Overcoming pornography is more than taking some action steps or white-knuckling your way through temptation. There is no amount of willpower and apps alone that can lead you to success. The heart of the issue is to realize that God is for you and there is nothing you can do that is greater than His grace. When we focus on relying on Christ and growing in relationships with Him only then can our motivation change because we are relying on His power. That is not to say that you should never use app blockers or accountability software, but those tools are ineffective if you have not first connected with Christ.
3) To the woman that does not struggle with porn… You have an important choice to make. You can either be the voice of shame or you can be the voice of grace. Many women need the help of someone else to bring up the topic of pornography. You have the ability to help someone have that conversation or to even be the person encouraging and helping them discover who they are apart from porn.
About Jessica Harris:
Jessica Harris is a writer, speaker, author, and creator of Beggar’s Daughter, a blog for Christian women struggling with pornography and sexual sin. She is recognized as a leading voice on the topic of female porn use and addiction in the church. Jessica has shared her passion and expertise on ABC’s Nightline, The 700 Club, Focus on the Family, and Cru.
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