Did you all know that my 12-year-old son is the ONLY kid in seventh grade who doesn’t have his own phone? Well at least that’s what he just told me.
Honestly, when picking him up after a school basketball game last week, my husband told me that every kid he saw waiting for parents after the game was texting on a phone. So maybe Austin is right!
Honestly, sometimes it feels like we’re all alone in maintaining some form of boundaries in this boundary-less world:
“No, we can’t afford a Wii and we won’t be getting one.”
“No, you can’t ever have a computer in your bedroom.”
“No, you’ll NEVER have a television in your bedroom.”
“No, you can’t have a cell phone until your sixteen and you need it for safety purposes.”
“No, you can’t watch that movie…it’s inappropriate.”
Life is so not fair and parenting is so not easy! Anybody feeling that way? What boundaries have you set for your kids that you’re feeling alone in? I’d love to hear about it. Maybe our discussions will help us not feel so alone!
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Wow, for a moment I thought for sure it was me talking to my kids! 😉 It is very hard to maintain boundaries with our kids when all their friends are “doing it”, but my hope is that they will realize later that we do it for their benefit….saying no is not always the easy way.
I have to say that we have set the exact same boundaries for our three children as you have for yours. I know how hard it is for them, I was raised in a Christian family and was odd man out many times with my friends. I wasn’t appreciative when I was growing up, in fact I hated it. But now as a parent I realize just how many problems it saved me from.
Two of my dad’s famous quotes:
Life’s not fair! (which was so true, I mean I wasn’t allowed to wear make up till I was 13 and even then it was just powder and mascara! I wasn’t allowed to go to a teenage party even though my two sisters were able to go because I was 12!)
Life was so unfair 😉 But I praise God for boundaries!
We have a 7th grader girl who thinks she is the only one without a cell phone. It is challenging when everytime you turn around friends have the latest gadget or clothing fad and they aren’t paying for them. She is saving and paying for those wants. Some things we are splitting the costs. She thinks she needs a phone but she won’t be getting that for awhile.
I’m there with you on the cell phone issue. It does seem every other kids has them! I haven’t even had mine for very long! 🙂
What about middle school dances? My 6th grade daughter is constantly being begged by friends to go to a middle school dance. NO. I’ve heard the boys and girls stand on opposite sides of the gym and it’s actually quite funny but, still…
First off: What is Wii?
If I’ve learned anything it’s this: If we don’t want our kids to think they need it, we MUST do without ourselves. To that end, we have ONE cell phone for our entire family and it is our only phone. Period.
Our 5 year old wants a new bike for Christmas. We’ve made it our goal to visit Good Will at every chance and grab the first bike her size we see! It’s a challenge and she’s all for it.
… Now this does not work post-adolescence. Peer Pressure rips at family cohesion so bad. In thier case (well… HER case), we just make fun of all the kids with cell phones and Wii(???) Maybe not the best approach. Huh? She hasn’t asked for one yet. . . .
It’s refreshing to know that there are other mom’s out there like me. The mom’s in my neighborhood don’t seem to have many boundaries for their children and they let their kids run all over the neighborhood. I am known as the “mean” mom. But the neighborhood kids always seem to play at our house. So, I guess I can’t be that bad. We are breaking down and getting a Wii for the kids (and my husband) for Christmas. Since all the kids play at our house, it will get a lot of use! And maybe I’ll even give it a try.
My daughters who are now 24,21 & 16 were denied many TV shows, movies, fashions and events. It was always hard to say no – especially to good kids. But as I see their lives now. their desire to follow the Lord is worth more to me than their desired happiness then. God is so good – even as a grown woman there has been so many times when the Lord has had to say no to my requests. But as I look back I can see His plan at work in my life.
Recognize & Remember
In light of the tough economic times that lie ahead it is also irresponsible to spend money on things that are not necessities. I have found it difficult to be “Different” in such a materialistic world. Thanks for the encouragement and support through your blog. God Bless.