In marriage, it’s the little things that make a big difference. Today’s Marriage Monday explores the little choices we make everyday that can impact our marriage relationship.
Last night Jill went walking with a friend. When she finished walking, she said, “Hey, I need to run up to the drugstore. Want to go with me?” Every ounce of me wanted to say no. I had just come home from a long evening out with a friend and I didn’t want to leave again. I could tell Jill wanted to hear about my evening, so I pushed through my feelings and said, “Sure, I’ll come with you.”
You know, that little 10 minute drive was packed with conversation. And when we returned home, I was actually glad I went.
I’ve been noticing that more and more. When I make a little decision that is positive for my marriage, it makes a big difference. Last night I really saw that in Jill’s eyes. I chose her over my own selfishness…and that was a win for our relationship.
Mark loves to work with his hands. He’s always building something, fixing something, or re-purposing something. Sometimes he’ll come in and say, “Hey, do you want to come see what I’ve been working on?” And honestly I don’t. I’m entrenched in my own project or I’ve just sat down for the night and I don’t want to do one more thing.
But I’ve been trying to respond positively. Trying to push through my feelings and do the right thing. And it’s making a difference. I can tell that he feels valued by my response. When I’m engaged in what he’s doing, I’m engaged in my marriage. And it takes effort…sometimes more effort than I feel like giving. When I push through the feelings and do the right thing, our relationship is positively affected.
When Jill says, “Mark, can you help me fold this load of laundry before bed?” my inside wants to scream no. But then I put it in perspective. I wear those clothes. Jill is just as tired as I am. I can say yes even if I want to say no and it will speak love to Jill and accomplish a task that needs to be accomplished.
Dying to self is a hard thing to do. It’s definitely not the culturally acceptable thing to do. Culture says “Take care of yourself!” or “Do what you want to do.” The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 13:5 that “love is not rude and it is not self-seeking.” That’s the basis for pushing through the selfishness and going the extra mile for someone you love.
What about you? What little things could you do more of in your marriage that could make a big difference?
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