Here in “No More Perfect” land, we talk a lot about the many different relationships in life—marriage, parenting, friendships, and even extended family relationships. However, we have never had an episode where we talk about our relationship with ourselves (until today!). As women, we are bombarded with messaging that tells us that we should be confident with very little information on how to actually do it. Thankfully, my guest today is changing that!

Nicole Kalil is a speaker, leadership strategist, and coach who specializes in helping women build internal trust and reclaim confidence. She believes confidence is built from the inside out as we learn to trust ourselves and who we are meant to be.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The connection between your relationship with God and confidence
• The most common confidence derailers
• How to start building confidence
• And more!

I really enjoyed this conversation, and I’m praying it is an encouragement to you today.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Validation Is For Parking: How Women Can Beat the Confidence Con by Nicole Kalil (NOTE: this book is an excellent read but it is not a Christian book and it does contain salty language)
• FREE Confidence Workbook with book purchase
• This Is Woman’s Work Podcast with Nicole Kalil–(NOTE: For my usual listeners–Nicole’s podcasts are honest and helpful but they also contain salty language)
• I was recently on Nicole’s podcast and you can find that episode here!
• Connect with Nicole on Instagram
• Get the screensaver for your phone that was mentioned in this episode here.
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Confidence is all about trust. When you look at the etymology of the word “confidence,” you will find that “faith” and “belief” come up often. It’s no surprise that having confidence starts with having faith in yourself. This may be easy when things are going well, but true confidence is when you trust yourself even when things are hard. It means having faith in yourself in the most challenging times!

2) Start by building confidence internally. Building confidence starts in your mind. Before you can have confidence, you must know who you are – your likes and dislikes, convictions, and values. Once you know that, you have to build trust with yourself. That means staying true to who you are, communicating your boundaries, speaking up for yourself, and more. An easy starting point is to consider how you build trust with others and then turn that inward. If you never followed through on your commitments or asked a friend to betray who they are, they would never trust you. The same goes for you when building trust with yourself!

3) Avoid comparison. How often have you looked at someone else’s social media feed and wished your life could be more like theirs? Comparison is a trap that makes you doubt yourself and experience discontentment with your life. True confidence does not need to compare to anyone. Choosing confidence means being able to counter those inner thoughts and wishes and say, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment.”

About Nicole:

Nicole Kalil is a speaker, leadership strategist, author, coach, podcast host, and mother. She specializes in helping women build internal trust and reclaim confidence. Nicole just released a book called, Validation Is For Parking: How Women Can Beat the Confidence Con. In whatever free time she has, she enjoys reading, eating cheese, and reluctantly riding her Peloton.