When you hear the word grief, what comes to mind? For many of us, grief is something we associate with mourning the death of a loved one. But grief isn’t limited to the topic of death. It can also come from a diagnosis that changes your future, a divorce, infertility, unemployment, a prodigal child, or the realization that your life hasn’t turned out the way you once imagined.
Because we often associate grief with death, we may hesitate to use the word to describe the pain we’re experiencing in other circumstances. We might tell ourselves that what we’re going through isn’t serious enough to warrant that kind of language. But grief is about processing loss—and that can sometimes be the loss of expectations, relationships, opportunities, or dreams. The heartache and disappointment we experience during life’s hardest seasons are real, and they deserve to be acknowledged.
Nicole Langman is the author of This Isn’t The Story I Wanted. She is also a licensed therapist who gives voice to the often overlooked experience of non-death grief. Drawing from her professional expertise and personal journey through loss, Nicole is a compassionate guide for processing disappointment, naming grief without shame, and discovering God’s faithful presence during life’s unexpected chapters.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- How to give voice to your grief
- Key differences between something to grieve and a disappointment
- How to process any kind of grief
- And more!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
- [BOOK] This Isn’t The Story I Wanted
- Speak Up Conference
- Connect with Nicole on her website, Instagram, or Facebook
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) We often struggle to know how to grieve “smaller” disappointments. When we lose a loved one, the pain is great, but we often receive a familiar and comforting outpouring of support. Friends and family jump to offer us help; meals are brought to us, and condolences are offered. Death, in a way, has become the measurement we compare all other grief to. It can leave us feeling unsure of how to respond to “lesser” griefs. While navigating the loss of a job, divorce, or disappointment at how life turned out can seem not as worthy of our grief, there is a real loss that needs to be addressed and mourned.
2) Nothing is “off-script” to God. When life doesn’t go the way we planned or an unexpected event rocks our world, it can seem as though we got knocked so far off course that we have no hope of getting back on track. However, God is never taken by surprise, nor can His plans ever be thwarted. We can rest in the security that God’s plan for our lives remains steadfast, even if it doesn’t look how we imagined.
3) Invite other people into your journey. Our natural response when we are grieving is to isolate and pull back from relationships with others. However, it’s in our times of sorrow that we need connection and support the most. This can be just one trusted person that you reach out to and let them know what you are feeling and experiencing. If you are grieving today, consider reaching out to a close friend, family member, or counselor to invite them into your journey of grief and healing.
About Nicole:
Nicole Langman is an author, speaker, and licensed therapist. Drawing from her professional expertise and personal journey through loss, Nicole is a compassionate guide for processing disappointment, naming grief without shame, and discovering God’s faithful presence during life’s unexpected chapters. In her latest book, This Isn’t The Story I Wanted, Nicole addresses what it’s like to navigate grief in the unexpected chapters of life and the hope to be found on the other side. Nicole resides in Ontario, Canada, where she works as a social worker in private practice.
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