So here at Hearts at Home we have this little party for 4,000 moms happening in four days.
On top of that, my family and I spent all day Sunday in Indianapolis at Mark’s step-dad’s funeral. We arrived home late Sunday night.
With those two commitments providing a little bit of distraction, I completely forgot to post yesterday’s Marriage Monday!
I seriously got to noon yesterday and suddenly realized it was halfway through Monday and I had missed my Monday post.
Oh well…sometimes real life happens and we have to be ok with that. We also need to cut ourselves some slack when we make a mistake.
I think that’s really hard for moms. We are hard on ourselves. We compare our insides (our insecurities, our struggles, our mistakes) to everyone else’s outsides (their polished, looking pretty good exteriors.) It’s a pretty dangerous game to play because we lose every time.
I’m learning that the hardest person to forgive is myself. That’s because my perfectionism kicks in. You see, my desire to control doesn’t allow for mistakes.
I tend to replay my mistakes over and over in my head as if that could change what happened.
And God is dealing with me on this with his truth:
They’ll all get to know me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great. They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean. (Hebrews 8:12, The Message)
If God can wipe my slate clean…why is it so difficult for me to do the same?
And that control thing…He’s dealing with that, too:
Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4
Yep, this life isn’t a lone ranger gig. God wants me to relinquish the wheel and let him drive. As long as I work to control, I’m refusing to turn over the wheel.
Now look where that missed Marriage Monday post took us today.
Am I alone? Anybody else struggle with these things?
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Totally, I do this all the time. I am always hardest on myself. In fact I just forwarded the email of this to my friend as we were JUST talking about how we both do this last week at Bible Study. I have so much trouble giving up control! I know that is what God is trying to teach me now, but I like to keep a few fingers on that wheel. We are working on it (God and I 😉
It’s good to know that others struggle, too.
Thank you for being so real! I love who what you write voices everything I feel in my heart!
You know, Rosie, we all struggle with the same stuff to differing degrees. When we can talk about it, it helps us more likely move from where we are to where we want to be!
I am very much a control person. I have found that when I don’t live up to my expectations, I tend to just give in with defeat- “I am not good enough or I can’t get it done the way I think it should so why even try really hard anymore.” I end up looking at years or situations in the past and lamenting that I didn’t do more or do something differently. God has put me in a different situation right now and is dealing with me on being the mom, wife, and His daughter He has designed me to be. This means letting go of the control and the self-sufficiency I have relied on and prided myself on for so long. Good post and worth waiting for- Thanks!!
Thanks for your honesty, Mary Lynn!
Thanks for posting this. I also have control issues. I try to take control of situations as well as other people. I know I can’t control other people and I have to remember whenever I sense that I am trying to take control, to give it over to God and let Him take the wheel! Things turn out much better when He is in control…at least in the future, we realize that. LOL Thanks again for posting this.
It’s nice to know we’re not alone in our struggles. But it’s also nice to know others are trying to let God do the driving, too!