So here at Hearts at Home we have this little party for 4,000 moms happening in four days.

On top of that, my family and I spent all day Sunday in Indianapolis at Mark’s step-dad’s funeral.  We arrived home late Sunday night.

With those two commitments providing a little bit of distraction, I completely forgot to post yesterday’s Marriage Monday!

Oops!

I seriously got to noon yesterday and suddenly realized it was halfway through Monday and I had missed my Monday post.

Oh well…sometimes real life happens and we have to be ok with that.  We also need to cut ourselves some slack when we make a mistake.

I think that’s really hard for moms.  We are hard on ourselves.  We compare our insides (our insecurities, our struggles, our mistakes) to everyone else’s outsides (their polished, looking pretty good exteriors.)  It’s a pretty dangerous game to play because we lose every time.

I’m learning that the hardest person to forgive is myself.  That’s because my perfectionism kicks in.  You see, my desire to control doesn’t allow for mistakes.

I tend to replay my mistakes over and over in my head as if that could change what happened.

And God is dealing with me on this with his truth:

They’ll all get to know me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great. They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean. (Hebrews 8:12, The Message)

If God can wipe my slate clean…why is it so difficult for me to do the same?

And that control thing…He’s dealing with that, too:

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.  Psalm 54:4

Yep, this life isn’t a lone ranger gig.  God wants me to relinquish the wheel and let him drive.  As long as I work to control, I’m refusing to turn over the wheel.

Now look where that missed Marriage Monday post took us today.

Am I alone?  Anybody else struggle with these things?

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