An estimated 100 million people in the United States have some sort of “step” relationship. This could be a stepchild, a stepparent, or even a stepsibling. These relationships are often part of what’s known as a “blended” family, where individuals come together from previous relationships to form a new, unique family unit.
Blended families face many challenges and difficulties that other families don’t necessarily have to navigate. They have to build new relationships within the parent-child and sibling dynamics that have already been established. It can feel awkward at times, and kids may even struggle with feeling like their stepparent is trying to replace or force a bond.
While we don’t have personal experience on this topic, our guests do—and they are here to share their wisdom with us. Paul and Jeannette Savage are a Colorado-based couple with a blended family of five adult children and five grandchildren. Together, they authored Blended: Navigating the Challenges and Joys of a Stepfamily.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Common challenges blended families face
- The importance of avoiding defensiveness
- How to preserve the original parent-child bond
- And more!
It’s our pleasure to be able to bring you resources every week about the real stuff of life! If you or someone you know is navigating a blended family dynamic, we hope this conversation will be a valuable resource.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Connect with Paul and Jeannette on their website, Instagram, or Facebook
- [BOOK] Blended: Navigating the Challenges and Joys of a Stepfamily
- BONUS: Why Marriage Should Be 70/30, Not 50/50
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Prioritize your emotional health. Taking the time to nurture your inner peace is valuable for everyone, but this practice can be especially meaningful for parents in blended families. As you navigate new dynamics—like growing bonds with stepchildren or helping siblings settle into their roles—it’s natural for emotions to run high at times. That’s why tending to your own emotional needs can help you stay grounded and better support your children as they adjust.
2) Give each other space to express your feelings. One of the most complex parts about being in a blended family is how naturally protective each parent can feel toward their own children. That love can sometimes make it hard to hear one another out during moments of tension. However, it’s important that your marriage relationship remains strong and you allow your spouse to air out their frustrations without getting defensive. Strive to create a safe and collaborative space when resolving family conflicts with your spouse.
3) Allow your children to guide and define the relationship. It may take some time for your children to adjust to a new family structure, new siblings, and even a new house. Rather than pressuring them to call their stepparent “mom” or “dad,” allow your child to have time and space to decide what they are comfortable with. Remember, this is all new for them too, and it will take time for everyone to figure out how to relate to one another.
About Paul and Jeannette:
Paul and Jeannette Savage are a Colorado-based couple with a blended family of five adult children and five grandchildren. Together, they authored Blended: Navigating the Challenges and Joys of a Stepfamily and have mentored many couples and individuals. Jeannette leads women’s groups at their church and Paul coaches men in recovery. Their favorite place on the planet is at home together.
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