On the podcast, one of my favorite topics to talk about is relationships! Did you know that we were designed to be in relationships? Really! It’s the way that God intended us to do life and something Jesus modeled in His time here on earth. Even though connecting with others is so important, relationships can also be one of the most challenging parts of life.

While we can’t control others, there is always room for us to grow and improve how we approach the relationships in our life. That’s what we’re talking about today!

Helping me explore this topic is PeggySue Wells, an author, speaker, and coach. She is the best-selling author of 30 books. On top of that, she’s a single mom of 7 kids! Whew! Like me, PeggySue has a passion for helping people improve their relationships.

In today’s practical conversation, we talk about the five R’s that destroy relationships, how to get out of common unhealthy cycles, the untrue stories we often tell ourselves, the benefits God has for us in our relationships with others, and more!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• [Book] The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make: A Biblical Guide for Navigating Family Life on Your Own
• PeggySue’s Blog Post About The Five R’s
• Single Mom Circle
• Connect with PeggySue on Facebook and Instagram
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks!

My Key Takeaways:

1) Recognizing when you are in one of the five R’s is so valuable. PeggySue walked through the five R’s that destroy relationships and how each one ultimately leads to us repeating and deepening an unhealthy cycle. The first step to breaking that cycle is to recognize when you are headed down that path. Take a moment to think about your relationships. Is there one that is particularly tough right now? Which R are you in? PeggySue made a habit of using the phrase “What are the facts?” to help her recognize when she was stepping into a feeling of Rejection. Is that a phrase you may need to adopt as well?

2) Go back to the facts. One of the key factors to this cycle is our emotions and how they dictate the story we often play out in our minds. When we catch ourselves feeling rejected and becoming resentful toward someone else, we need to take a moment to check the facts. This is usually the point where our emotions start weaving a tale that plays into our fear of worse-case scenarios. We tell ourselves, “They don’t like you and that’s why you didn’t get invited to that event. She is angry with you and, because of that, she isn’t listening to what you told her to do.“ If you take the time to go back to the facts, you’ll often find that the story in your mind isn’t accurate at all!

3) Ask what rough edges God is knocking off of you. Sometimes God puts us in relationships in order to reveal the things that we need to work on. There are times when a relationship may be dangerous or unhealthy to stay in (and in those cases, you need to protect yourself or reach out for help). But in many circumstances, God uses those in our life to knock off our rough edges and continue to make us look more like Him. So the next time you are in a tough relationship, ask yourself what God is trying to show you. What are the rough edges He is working on?

About PeggySue: