Prayer is such a powerful work.
When it comes to your marriage, standing in the gap for your husband through prayer is one of the most important things you’ll ever do.
Whether your marriage is on the rocks, smooth sailing, or somewhere in between, I can’t encourage you enough to cover your husband in prayer each and every day.
A tool that I (Jill) often practice through prayer is a little strategy I like to call “pray, don’t say.”
Before bringing something up with my husband, I try to talk with God about it first.
What I’ve found when I do this is that sometimes prayer is all that needs to happen. No big talk is needed. Other times, the prayer will give me direction and clarity for the upcoming conversation.
Starting a habit of prayer for my husband didn’t start overnight. If I’m being honest, it isn’t easy releasing control and just leaving it to God to do a work in my husband’s life. However, it is often exactly what I need. I can’t control the circumstances of life that interrupt our plans, nor can I act as the Holy Spirit in my husband’s life to tell him what areas the Lord is asking him to grow.
What I can do is lift up my frustrations and concerns to the Lord in prayer. He is the one who can guide my husband’s attention, prompt him to grow through sanctification, and inspire him to lead our family well.
If you’ve been wondering what you can do to support your spouse, then this is your sign to build a habit of praying for your husband, starting with 5 of my favorite prayers (plus helpful prompts for reflection and action!):
1) A Prayer for My Husband When It Feels Like We Are So Different
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Lord,
When I need to step into my husband’s world, it sometimes feels like stepping into a foreign land. He is so different than I am! His needs are not my needs. His desires are different than mine. The things he likes are so different than the things I like.
Give me a curious heart that wants to better understand my husband and truly know him well. May I never stop exploring his thoughts, his experiences, and his perspectives. Help me to sometimes set aside my preferences and focus on his.
When it feels like too much to step into his world, remind me that I can do all things through You and that You will give me the strength I need.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Think:
Think of five ways your spouse is different from you. Think about the good those five things bring to your life. Thank God for each of those ways your spouse is different and the balance and blessing it brings to your life.
Take Action:
Send your husband a text thanking him for one way he’s different than you and letting him know that you’re aware of the good it brings to your life.
2) A Prayer for Believing the Best About My Husband
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
Lord,
I confess that the words of my mouth and the thoughts in my head are too often not what you desire for me. I know that my words are an overflow of what’s in my heart, so today I want to confess the negative thoughts I have about my husband. I know they aren’t helping me, and they certainly aren’t helping our marriage.
Help me turn critical thoughts into grateful thoughts. Help me change accusations into questions. Help me to stop assuming and assigning the wrong meaning to my spouse’s actions.
Lord, I want to believe the best in my husband and to see us as the team that we are. I pray that my husband will also be more aware of his thoughts. Show him when his thinking is sending him in the wrong direction and help him to renew his mind.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Think:
Think of some of the character traits that drew you to your husband when you were dating. Focus your thoughts on those traits as well as other positive traits he holds.
Take Action:
Thank your husband for one thing he did this week that you noticed but took for granted at the time.
3) A Prayer For My Husband’s Faith
“If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.” Romans 10:9-10 NLT
Father God,
I pray that my husband will declare that Jesus is his Lord and the leader of his life. May he believe in his heart that You raised Jesus from the dead. You are his refuge and strength. You give generously to all who call upon You.
Help my husband to confidently call upon Your name and find salvation, everlasting grace, and peace. Help him to move from self-sufficiency to Christ-sufficiency. May his faith journey never be about religion but always about his relationship with You.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Think:
Is faith about religion or relationship for you?
Take Action:
Explore a museum together. Enjoy meandering through the exhibits, learning new information together.
4) A Prayer For When My Husband is Hurting
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Lord,
Too many men have not received comfort in their lives from their parents. Boys are often taught to buck up. It’s very possible that my husband doesn’t even really understand the concept of being comforted or providing comfort for others.
Help me to remember that he is still growing in understanding those things. I pray that my husband will begin to be aware of the comfort You offer him when life is hard. As he learns more about Your comfort, I pray that he may be able to comfort others with the comfort that he has received from You.
When my husband needs comfort from me, remind me to feel and not fix so he can experience Your comfort flowing through me. Give me compassion and empathy when my husband is hurting.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Think:
Consider how comfort was handled in the home in which you grew up. Were you required to just buck up? Were emotions allowed? Become more aware of your experience with comfort this week.
Take Action:
The next time your husband has a bad day or is moody, walk up and give him a holding hug—just hold him a little longer than usual. Don’t try to fix anything or offer any solutions. Simply say, “I can only imagine how hard that was.”
5) A Prayer for the Connection With My Husband
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” Psalm 25:16-17
Lord,
There are times when marriage feels lonely. I’ve felt that, and I’m sure my husband has felt that too. I pray today that You would make me more aware of my husband’s need for companionship.
When he asks me to do something with him that doesn’t excite me, help me to say yes. I may not be a fan of (activity he likes to do) but I’m a fan of him. Help me to also make it safe for him to invite me to step into his world by responding in a way that doesn’t discourage him from asking.
And when I’m feeling lonely may I first be reminded of Your presence in my life and that I’m never truly alone. When I’m tempted to put a wall up to protect my heart, help me to tear it down. Then give me the wisdom on how to best engage my husband to connect.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Think:
When you feel lonely do you complain, criticize, hint, or comment rather than make a kind, specific request to connect? This week pay attention to any complaining, criticizing, hinting, or commenting you’re tempted to do and identify the request you can make instead.
Take Action:
Put a date on the calendar sometime in the next few months to spend the day together doing something you both enjoy. Clear your calendars and if you have children, make childcare arrangements now.
I hope these prayers serve as a helpful tool if you’re trying to start a routine of praying for your husband! And if you already cover him in prayer daily, I hope you’ll add these prayers into your rhythm. Would you like even more resources to supplement your practice of praying for the Lord’s influence in his life?
If you answered ‘yes’, then you’ll want to be sure to grab a copy of our 199 Prayers for My Husband book. (As you can see, Mark and I wrote 199 Prayers for My Wife as a companion book—which is a great resource that husbands can use to cover their spouse in prayer as well!)
