Over the years, we’ve had our fair share of expectations that ended in disappointment—sometimes around big moments like birthdays, and other times over something as simple as how we spend a Saturday.
It’s taken us a while to discover that what caused many of these conflicts was a lack of proactive communication, or as we like to say, a failure to “push information.” Pushing information is simply taking the time to communicate in advance your current hopes and desires (or even how you are used to doing things in the past).
Pushing information to your spouse may take some time and effort upfront, but we know from experience what a valuable tool this strategy can be in avoiding unnecessary arguments and hurt.
In this episode, you’ll learn about:
- The importance of comparing your “normals”
- Why proactive communication is key for healthy relationships
- Practical tips for being clear with your expectations
- And more!
This has been such a helpful tool that we’ve used in coaching and in our marriage! We hope it helps you turn confusion and disappointment into clarity and contentment.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
My Key Takeaways:
1) Define your normal. There are no two homes that celebrate birthdays exactly the same. As unique individuals with specific preferences, desires, and family histories, your normal will not be the same as your spouse’s normal. Neither way is wrong or incorrect, they are just different. As such, it’s important to recognize your differences and then define how you will navigate these events together.
2) Set your spouse up for success. We need to stop leaving what we desire up to chance or expecting things to “just happen.” While this may be how things are portrayed in TV and movies, our spouse isn’t a mind reader. Instead, let’s create a habit of pushing the necessary information regarding our expectations. Are you unsure of where to begin? Try asking yourself these questions: What did I hope will occur? What do I want? How could I communicate this clearly to my family?
3) Proactive communication is important in all types of situations. While it’s easy to see how this would apply to special events or holidays, pushing information can be beneficial in almost any situation! Are you going on a trip with your spouse? Make sure to ask and communicate what you hope in regard to the frequency and type of sex that will occur. How about how you spend your time over the weekend? Or how you like to be pursued? How chores are accomplished in your home? By clearly communicating in advance, you are allowing expectations to be adjusted to more closely match what will actually occur.
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