*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! We love finding new ways to connect with you, and we hope you enjoy the added experience of watching along as you listen.
Have you ever thought:
I don’t love my spouse anymore. Marriage should be easier than this. My spouse doesn’t care about me.
If so, you are not alone. When relationships become rocky, it’s easy for lies like these to consume our minds.
Before someone seriously considers leaving their marriage or cheating on their spouse, there is first a battle in their mind. In our own marriage crisis, Mark thought and believed similar things, which eventually led to him stepping out and leaving our marriage.
What we see every day as marriage coaches is that the same thoughts that nearly destroyed our marriage are destroying marriages all over the world. That’s why, in this conversation, we are continuing our Recovering from Infidelity and Broken Trust series. In case you missed it, you can head back and listen to part one here.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Some of the lies that drive people to consider leaving their marriage
- Why our issues will always follow us to a new relationship
- The essentials of breaking off an affair
- Our personal story navigating infidelity
- And more!
As we continue in this series, our desire is for every couple to know that there is still hope for your marriage!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
- Confidential Communication To The Guy Thinking About Leaving His Marriage
- Confidential Communication For The Person Thinking About Leaving Their Marriage
- How To Break Off An Affair–Sample Letter
- The Wait is Not Wasted Course
- [BOOK] No More Perfect Marriages
- [BOOK] My Heart is Broken
- [BOOK] I Really Messed Up
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Each partner contributed to the dysfunction of the marriage. While you didn’t cause your partner to have an affair or break your trust, each party brought their own stuff to the table that contributed to the dynamic of your relationship. We are all human and have our own history, childhood, and trauma that can wreak havoc on our relationships if we don’t take the time to heal and relearn new patterns. The good news is that none of us are “stuck.” You can learn new skills and make changes in your relationship. You don’t have to wait for things to fall apart to make those changes either!
2) Give change a chance. Things in our relationship might have gone differently if Mark had said, “I’m considering leaving this marriage. Can we try something different?” It may have been the spark we needed to change and show up differently in our marriage before it ever got to the point of infidelity. If you are in this place where you are considering leaving your marriage, we urge you to talk with your spouse. Be bold and let them know in a kind and loving manner how you are struggling. It may be wise to enlist extra help from a coach, counselor, or therapist to help you navigate the conversation.
3) Your love for one another can be reignited. We can tell you from experience that during the season when trust was broken in our relationship, it was very difficult, if not impossible, to feel like we still loved each other. But now that we are on the other side of our marriage crisis, we can also tell you that there is hope for you and your spouse to rediscover that passion and feel a deeper love than ever before. It will most certainly take time, grace, forgiveness, and a bit of rebuilding, but your marriage can thrive once again.
Would you like to be notified by email when a new No More Perfect Podcast episode releases? Just fill in your name and email and we’ll make sure you’re in the know!
