*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! We love finding new ways to connect with you, and we hope you enjoy the added experience of watching along as you listen.
“Mom, don’t be foolish. He’s just going to do this again.”
Broken trust affects more than just your spouse. There’s a ripple effect that goes out and changes every relationship, from your children to your relatives, close friendships, and even neighbors.
We know that, when recovering from infidelity and broken trust, it can be difficult to know how to start mending the fractures that the betrayal has caused within your social circle. That’s why, in this conversation, we will be giving you a structure you can follow to start repairing those relationships that have been damaged. This is part three in our four-part series, Recovering from Infidelity and Broken Trust. If you haven’t already done so, we encourage you to go back and listen to parts one and two here.
In part one, we covered the rupture and trauma that occurs when trust is broken, and in part two, we talked about the U-turn and recommitment that has to happen before trust can be restored. In this conversation, we are focusing on what it takes to achieve reconciliation.
As you pursue reconciliation, it doesn’t happen all at once. It may take weeks, months, or even years to fully restore all the relationships that have been damaged. However, it’s imperative that you start with your spouse, then your children, and then move out to the “outer circles.”
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- A blueprint for where reconciliation should begin
- What it means to have a “safe conversation”
- Advice for the spouse who still thinks about their affair partner
- And more!
As we continue in this series, we hope it is an encouragement and resource for anyone who is navigating reconciliation!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
- FREE Rebuilding Trust On-Demand Webinar
- Rebuilding Trust Course
- How to Have a Safe Conversation
- Individual and Marriage Coaching
- Marriage Intensive Retreats
- [BOOK] No More Perfect Marriages
- [BOOK] My Heart is Broken
- [BOOK] I Really Messed Up
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Healing happens in stages. While you can’t rush the healing process, it’s important to start with the relationships that matter the most. That means it begins with your spouse first. Next, with your children, depending on their ages and what is appropriate to share. You will not be able to repair all the hurt that has been done in one day or even in one month. This is a journey, and it will take some time before you can reconcile with each person.
2) Create a safe place to process. It’s important that this is NOT your children. It should be with a therapist, a friend, or a family member who will lead you toward God’s word. There’s a temptation here to overshare details with your children and turn to them for emotional support. While there are things that your children need to know, we should never put them in the place of another adult.
3) Disclosure can get messy. When working to reconcile after infidelity or broken trust, it’s important to remember that it might take multiple conversations about the same topic before the matter is resolved. When we walked through reconciliation, we set a standard of allowing the same question to be asked over and over again. The reality is that you can’t process everything in one sitting. As such, you have to be gracious with one another in the asking and answering of what occurred and then processing the pain of that information. We say this to help give you realistic expectations of this process. Reconciliation is absolutely possible; we are living proof of that. However, there are steps you must take to get there.
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