Our words have the power to encourage and inspire others. They also have the power to put down, shame, and discourage. In this conversation, we are looking at the power of our words. Joining me for this discussion is someone who has personal experience with the impact our words can have in relationships—especially within marriage.
Ann Wilson spent more than a decade longing for a better marriage. Every chance she got, Ann told her husband how much she wished he were more attentive, more helpful, and just all around better. While she thought she was being helpful, in reality, her words were badgering him with constant critiques that nearly broke their marriage.
No matter how long you’ve been married, you won’t want to skip this episode on how our words can make the difference between merely wishing things were different in our relationship and actually changing it for the better.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Practical ways to speak life to your husband
- A powerful prayer to recite
- Why you should talk to Jesus BEFORE talking to your spouse
- And more!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Connect with Ann on her Instagram or Facebook
- [BOOK] How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him
- [BOOK] No Perfect Parents: Ditch Expectations, Embrace Reality, and Discover the One Secret That Will Change Your Parenting
- [BOOK] Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage
- Kensington Church
- Finding Joy and Spiritual Growth in Your Marriage – Love Like You Mean It 2025
- Love Like You Mean It Cruise
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Ask whether our words are building up or tearing down. Did you know that it takes five positives to counter one negative? It’s important that we communicate more positive comments and compliments to our spouse than we do critiques. One way to assess this ratio is to keep a journal on paper or your phone of all the comments you make to your spouse. At the end of the day, go through and take note of how many were positive and negative. You may be surprised at the result!
2) Changing our words begins with shifting our thoughts. The more we think about something, the more likely we are to notice evidence that supports that belief. If I think my husband doesn’t help around the house, then I’m more likely to notice all the times he doesn’t take out the trash or put away his dishes. This is what’s known as confirmation bias. (We actually did an entire episode about this.) Before we can change our words, we have to change our thoughts. You can do this by asking God to help reveal positive things about your spouse and then be on the lookout for those traits throughout the week.
3) Regularly affirm the person your spouse is becoming. As a husband or wife, we have a unique position to speak life and encouragement into our spouse. We have a front row seat to see all the ways that God is at work in their hearts, minds, and actions. We can regularly remind our spouse of how proud we are of the progress they have made, how they have responded to the Spirit’s leading, and who we see them becoming.
About Ann:
Ann Wilson has served in ministry with her husband, Dave, for more than 25 years, co-founding Kensington Community Church, speaking at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember Conferences, and hosting their own marriage conferences across the country. Ann and Dave now serve as FamilyLife Today radio and podcast hosts. They live in the Detroit area and have three grown sons, three daughters-in-law, and seven grandchildren.
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