I have my hubby, Mark, on the podcast with me today! We are tackling an important topic, not just for married couples, but for any relationship. What’s the topic? Communication. (Can we get an amen!?)
Learning how to stop assuming and start communicating was at the heart of making over our marriage after our crisis. Through communication, we changed how we talked and listened to each other, which we have found is key to healing, changing the dynamics in your relationships, and understanding one other better.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Communication pitfalls that are so easy to fall into
- The different C’s you can bring to a conversation
- How to ask for what you need the right way
- Why expecting people will “just know” simply isn’t realistic.
This is so important, and we hope this episode helps you learn to ask for what you need!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- [Article] Which “C” Are You Doing?
- No More Perfect Marriages book
- Follow me on Instagram and Facebook
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Learn to appreciate each other’s differences. People, especially in a relationship, can usually be categorized as a “feeler” or a “thinker.” It should come as no surprise that these two approaches can clash at times! We need to take the time to learn to speak each other’s language and find the value in what the other person brings to the table. What your spouse needs is different from what you need based on your unique personality. Rather than letting those differences divide you, it’s possible to appreciate your spouse’s differences in the way you communicate.
2) Get help to identify what you need. If you struggle to ask for what you need or even if you can’t recognize it yourself, it’s okay to ask for help. We all have different backgrounds and life experiences that either affirm or deny our needs. For those of us that were denied more than we were affirmed, you may need to put in some extra work to be able to identify what you really are wanting or needing. You may even work with a counselor or therapist to get additional help discovering what your needs are so that you can ask for it clearly.
3) Be direct in your requests. Fairytales and chick-flicks have given us this false expectation that everything will just fall into place. We think, “There isn’t any need to communicate because the other person should just know what we need.” While this may seem nice, it is not reality. Rather than hinting to our spouses what we want or hoping they’ll pick up on how we are feeling, we need to practice being direct in our requests. Dispel the idea that this is somehow “unromantic.” Your spouse can’t meet an expectation they don’t know about. It can be something as simple as looking you in the eyes when you communicate, getting flowers once a month, or greeting them with a hug when they come home. Let’s learn to be clear in our communication.
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