Happy New Year! Did you make any resolutions for 2026? Here at the Savage household, we’ve had our successes and failures with these kinds of goals, and we’ve learned a valuable lesson over the years:
When we set big, pie-in-the-sky goals without a clear roadmap for reaching them, our motivation is likely to putter out by early February.
But when we set goals that are practical, achievable, and integrated into our existing lifestyle, that’s when the true progress happens—not a dramatic shift on January 1st, but a little bit of growth adding up over every day of the year.
We know that, like many couples, you are likely longing for a deeper connection with your spouse. If this is one of the goals you’d like to work towards this year, this article is for you.
One of our tried and true sayings is that “Good marriages don’t crumble in a day. It’s the slow fades…” If you and your spouse have slowly been drifting apart, you know that, over time, a marriage that isn’t nurtured can start to crack. But the inverse is also true: with time, a marriage can be strengthened and revitalized if consistent effort and love is poured into it.
As we kick off 2026, we wanted to offer you some tips for how to better connect with your spouse in both small and big ways this year! And if you’ve struggled, as we have at times, to find ways to connect, we would encourage you to also check out our upcoming Connect to Your Spouse in 2026 Live Online Workshop.
1) Be Intentional.
When setting any type of goal, it’s important to get specific so you can measure your progress. For instance, a New Year’s resolution like “get healthier” would be hard to measure. However, a goal of “go to the gym twice a week for thirty minutes” is far clearer and easier to track. The same principle applies when you’re trying to invest in your marriage.
Right now, you are probably saying, “Yes, I want to connect with my spouse in 2026,” but let’s take some time to unpack the practical ways you might do that. Does that mean organizing more date nights? Expressing your interest or attraction in order to fill your spouse’s “love tank?” Or could it be carving out half an hour after the kids are in bed to spend quality time together?
Remember, when setting a good goal, keep the SMART framework in mind: it needs to be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based. Finally, consider if this is something you will need to organize with your spouse or if this is an individual goal. You might not need to coordinate with your spouse if your goal is something like “I want to show my interest and affection for my spouse by leaving them a note or sending them a flirty text three times per week.”
2) Strive for Better Over Perfect.
We can all probably agree that while it would be great to be able to have a weekly date night, that might not be obtainable for the majority of us. There will be nights when you’re unable to find a babysitter, someone’s feeling under the weather, or a big project at work keeps someone at the office late. On top of that, many of us simply find that big dates with all the fanfare on a regular basis aren’t something that fits into our budgets.
The truth is, you don’t have to do something big, extravagant, or expensive in order to successfully invest in your marriage. That doesn’t mean you never do big date nights, but you might make a more extravagant date a yearly event.
Remember that showing up, even if it’s in a small way, is what’s important. That might look like choosing simpler, more practical dates or improvising when something comes up at the last minute. A simple date is far better than one that keeps getting delayed because conditions weren’t perfect—or one that never happens because you’re still waiting for the “right” time.
Here are some small ways you might connect with your spouse weekly that still make a big investment in your relationship:
- Share a cup of coffee together as part of your getting-ready routine.
- Spend 5 minutes debriefing before bed or doing a devotional together.
- Find some quick board games you can play together, whether you have 15 minutes or an hour.
- Create some phrases with your spouse that help them know that you still love and care about them, even through the craziness of life.
3) Build Consistency.
There’s a reason why most gym memberships start in January but begin to trail off around “quitter’s day” – the second Friday of the year – and continue to drop as we get further into the year.
It’s hard to keep a goal going. But the key to making real change starts with consistency.
The same is true in our relationships. In order to build a strong connection, we first have to build a habit that will last.
Challenges like coming up with fresh ideas, coordinating schedules, and trying to make it all feel special instead of same-old-same-old can cause us to give up or backslide in creating consistency. If that sounds familiar to you, then our Date Night Planner is a great resource to help you build consistency all year long. We’ve included 12 intentional date nights, clearly marked as at-home or out-and-about. Just print, pick a date, and enjoy time together without having to wait for inspiration to strike.
4) Have Fun Together.
One of the aspects of a new relationship that creates excitement is the fun you have together while you’re dating. As you move into marriage, the routine of life can pull you away from having fun together – especially if you have young children.
It’s important to spend time together, and it’s even more important to keep the fun alive in your relationship. This could be teasing one another, finding ways to laugh together, engaging in activities that you both enjoy, and more.
We can fall into the trap of only talking with our spouses about our kids’ routine, work, or the mundane tasks of life. Making sure you engage in fun together can bring back the joy, delight, and excitement you first found in each other.
5) Try New Things Together.
Whether it’s showing interest in a hobby or interest your partner has had for a long time or trying something totally new to both of you, novel activities can help strengthen the bond we have with our spouse and build closeness.
For instance, have you ever tried an escape room? This unique activity causes you to have to navigate a new environment with your spouse, solving puzzles along the way and engaging different skills and strengths you both have. At the end, you get to delight in a shared victory (or commiserate together when you come up just short of victory).
This is just one example of how going outside of your norm can help build new pathways to connection with your spouse. Plus, if you pick an activity that your spouse has a particular interest in, then you are showing them how much you pay attention and want to invest in the things that they like.
6) Minimize Distractions When Together.
Today, everyone has mini computers in the form of smartphones inside their pockets at nearly every waking moment. It’s no wonder that this could have an impact on our relationships! If you and your spouse spend a lot of time together, but you’re watching TV or scrolling on your phones, then you are probably not finding the quality of connection you long for.
Take some time to establish “no phone zones” in your relationship. This could be whenever you are sharing a meal together or in the 10 minutes before you go to bed. You might ban phones from your established date nights, whether it’s at home or out and about.
Another area we see phones creating a distraction is when having a conversation, whether it be serious or casual. That doesn’t mean your phones have to be banished to some far-off corner, but at the very least, prioritize communicating that you are listening to your spouse by keeping it in your pocket or facedown on the table. This action shows your spouse that what they are saying is important to you.
While many couples have a goal to build a stronger connection in 2026, it can be challenging to navigate the logistics of making this happen. By reading this article and applying these tips to your life, you are already making a great start. But trying to build toward a goal of consistent connection throughout the year can still be a major hurdle.
That’s why we want to highlight two great resources you should check out to help support your process of creating a stronger connection with your spouse in 2026.
The first is our Connect to Your Spouse in 2026 Live Workshop: coming up very soon on Tuesday, January 13th! We’ll share with you the three connection points that are crucial to prioritize with your spouse throughout the year. As an added bonus, this workshop is free to all our Date Night Community Members. So if you’ve been considering joining our Date Night community, now is the perfect time to do that!
Our second resource is the 2026 Date Night Planner, which will take you from “We really should plan a date night” to 12 dates actually on the calendar! We are helping take the mental load off of planning out your dates so all you have to do is show up and enjoy your spouse.
