What are you doing for Valentine’s Day this year?
Some people love going all out, making every detail of the day extra special.
Others are not so enthusiastic. For them, this holiday feels less like a celebration and more like pressure—an expectation to create something magical, often followed by disappointment when reality doesn’t match the picture-perfect moments they see on social media.
Even more, some couples choose not to do anything “big” on Valentine’s Day. (If that’s you, and both of you truly want that, that’s okay!)
With Valentine’s Day less than a week away, you’re bound to see heart-shaped chocolate boxes, rose bouquets, and romantic gestures everywhere you look.
However, if you and your spouse haven’t built a habit of dating one another throughout the year, all this romance may feel more suffocating than exciting. Throughout our years of marriage coaching, we’ve seen the pressures of Valentine’s Day play out time and time again. In our experience, couples whose romance has faded often fall into one of three V-Day traps:
- Sticking to what’s familiar. They skip the holiday altogether, following the law of inertia. But underneath it, one or both partners feel a quiet sense of disappointment.
- Going through the motions. They make an effort to celebrate, but because they haven’t established a regular rhythm of romance, the experience feels forced and underwhelming.
- A one-time spark. They create a beautiful Valentine’s Day, only to let that flame fizzle out as soon as February 15th rolls around.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, we’re here to help—because we’ve been in your shoes before!
Now, before we go any further, we want to make something clear. Your Valentine’s Day—or any romantic occasion with your spouse—doesn’t have to be extravagant to be meaningful. You don’t need to do what everyone else is doing or even follow any V-Day traditions.
What matters is that both partners put in the effort to invest in the relationship. If a handwritten love note means more to you than a five-star dinner, embrace that!
Here’s the truth—no relationship is defined by one day of the year. But Valentine’s Day can be a golden opportunity to set the momentum for a lasting rhythm of romance.
Our encouragement to you is to see this holiday not as a test of your love that you have to partake in, but as an opportunity to connect that you get to enjoy.
To help you enjoy some quality time with your Valentine, we’re sharing one of our favorite date ideas that is consistently a favorite amongst our Date Night community. Remember, the key to a fulfilling Valentine’s Day isn’t about getting the perfect number of roses or scoring a sought-after dinner reservation. It’s about intentionality, connection, and having fun together.
“I Want S’More of That!” Date
Yummy treats + words of affirmation = a recipe for romance success!
Start by picking up some marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars from the store. You can make the s’mores in the microwave or over an open fire, whichever you want! (If you don’t prefer s’mores, another treat you enjoy will do!)
As you enjoy your s’mores, take turns telling each other what you love for them to do and what you’d like s’more of. Here are some ideas to get you talking:
When we sit on the couch together, I love it when you/we ________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
In the morning, I love it when you/we ______________________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When we’re apart, I love it when you ___________________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When I’m stressed out, I so appreciate it when you _____________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When we talk, I love it when you __________________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
On Saturdays, I love it when we ____________________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When it comes to meals, I love it when you ____________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When we drive somewhere, I love it when you/we ____________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
On work days, I love it when you _________________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When it comes to flirting, I love it when you ______________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
When we go to bed, I love it when you/we ____________________________ and I’d like s’more of that.
Eat as many s’mores as you’d like and complete as many of these prompts as you’d like or add your own! The point is to have fun, be vulnerable with your spouse, and see where the conversation takes you.
Date Night Made Easy
Want to enjoy more intentional dates like this one with your spouse, but don’t have the time to plan them? Our No More Perfect Date Night community would love to welcome you!
We could all use a little help keeping the romance alive, especially when the busyness of life keeps us from connecting with our spouse. What we have found is that unless you’re intentional about connecting, good marriages become stale and hurting marriages disintegrate. So we wanted to put together a resource to keep couples connected even when life gets crazy.
Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day we should be prioritizing romance—we should be doing that all year round! A great way to get started is to commit to making intentional dates with your spouse a part of your regular routine.
Our No More Perfect Date Night Membership offers new date ideas each month designed to spark laughter, ignite romance, and deepen your connection with your spouse. (Along with many other practical resources each month for your marriage.) Sign up for a FREE 7-Day Trial to see what it’s all about!
We hope you and your spouse have your best Valentine’s Day yet this year! If you can, take a moment during your Valentine’s Day festivities to chat with your spouse about what building an intentional rhythm of romance could look like in your everyday lives. Keep it practical, but also make sure it’s something that genuinely excites you both!
If you’d like some help investing in your marriage 365 days a year, be sure to check out our No More Perfect Date Night Subscription. You’ll get access to a monthly featured “Design a Date” just like the one featured above, as well as all our previous content. Get all the details or sign up for a FREE 7-day trial here:
