For this #MarriageMonday, I am sharing an adapted excerpt from my book My Heart is Broken: Your Next Steps for When Your Spouse is Unfaithful. When we are betrayed in our marriage, or when any hard things happen in our life, what can we hold on to for stability?

“I’m leaving. I have no intention of returning. I’m pursuing the other relationship and I want a divorce.”

With those words, my husband walked out of the house and my life turned upside down.

I had never pictured anything like this ever happening. I had never imagined my marriage would experience such a painful breach of trust. I had never experienced such horrific pain and rejection.

(You can read our story of moving from crisis to connection right here.)

Discovering Mark’s affair truly felt like someone had just torn a piece of who I was out of my body. As he left, it felt like that piece of who I was went with him.

I felt lonely. Isolated. Overwhelmed. Confused. And most of all, betrayed.

Maybe you can relate?

Faith matters in all seasons of life. However, I have found it to be very true that faith takes on a whole new depth when we are going through crisis.

When we don’t have the strength to carry ourselves, we know the One who does.

When we don’t have the wisdom to navigate a difficult situation, we know the One who does.

When we feel lost, we know the One who knows the way.

I don’t know the exact circumstances of the betrayal you might be experiencing today, but above all else I want you to know that Jesus has His hand extended to you in the midst of the mess…Will you take it? Will you allow God to take His place in the driver’s seat of your life?

Here’s the most incredible part of walking through your difficult circumstances with Jesus: He gets it. Seriously, He gets all of it.

Here’s how Jesus is your Friend who understands:

He was betrayed.

Jesus had 12 close friends. The Bible calls them the disciples. These were His buddies. They ate together. Traveled together. Loved on people together. They did life together! One of His friends, Judas, decided that the temptation of 30 pieces of silver was worth chasing. He betrayed Jesus and told His enemies where to find Him, ultimately resulting in His death on the cross.

He was disappointed.

When Jesus knew that a horrendous death was around the corner, He went with His friends to a place called the Garden of Gethsemane. The Bible tells us He was so overwhelmed with what awaited Him, He was sweating blood. He asked His friends to pray with Him and they agreed to. So Jesus told them to stay and watch and pray near the entrance to the garden while Jesus went off to pour out His heart to His Father in heaven. When He returned from praying alone, He found His friends asleep. Can you imagine His disappointment? His friends let Him down!

He cried.

When Jesus’s friend Lazarus died, Jesus cried. He let His emotions go and allowed His grief to be expressed. He knows the pain of loss.

He was tired.

The Bible tells several stories about Jesus being tired from His journeys (remember, they had to walk everywhere back then!). One particular story in the Bible says that after teaching on a mountainside, Jesus crawled in a boat and fell fast asleep. He was absolutely exhausted.

He was tempted.

Jesus fasted for 40 days and during that time the enemy tempted Him in many different ways. Jesus responded to each temptation with God’s Word. He stood strong during a time when it would have been easy to give in.

Jesus gets it, and He desires to listen to you. He desires to hear from you (prayer is just a conversation with Him!). You see, the Bible tells us that God draws close to the brokenhearted. You are brokenhearted, so God is near.

My prayer for you is that, as you let Him lead you through this time, you will feel His presence. He truly is the Friend who understands.


Is your marriage in crisis? Grab your copy of My Heart is Broken: Your Next Steps for When Your Spouse is Unfaithful. You can also grab Mark’s book in the series, I Really Messed Up: Your Next Steps to Heal Your Marriage After an Affair.


Do you feel like your marriage is hanging on by a thread (or you want to make sure it doesn’t get there)? Consider our Marriage 2.0 Intensive that we host at our home in Normal, IL. We only work with one couple at a time. We’d love to work with you!