So how well do you know your kids? I don’t mean their likes or dislikes… I’m talking about how well you know what’s going on inside their head and their heart. No matter their personality, or their age, it’s so important to create a relationship that allows our kids to feel important and understood.

But I’ll be the first to admit: That’s not always easy.

Today on the podcast, I have a great conversation to share with you with Becky Harling, a popular speaker and best-selling author of 11 books. We not only swapped some funny parenting stories, Becky shares such practical wisdom about how she learned to love her kids without trying to control them, how parents can validate emotions without validating negative behavior, and what it looks like to parent from a place of humility.

Above all else: Both Becky and I want you to know that it truly is possible to build a meaningful and lasting relationship with your kids. It’s not always easy, it requires intention (and patience and grace!), but it’s so possible. I hope this conversation equips you to take one right step in the direction of helping your kids feel heard, understood, and valued. You’re not alone!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

[Book] How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk

Becky Harling’s Website

[Book] No More Perfect Kids

[Article] Connecting With Your Teen: The Power of a Pillow Journal

Connect with Becky on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!

My Key Takeaways:

1) Just focusing on obedience usually comes at the cost of connection. When we connect, it makes it easier to correct. Becky shares so honestly about how she made this shift in her parenting. She learned to let go of expectations in order to free up relational space to love them how God has designed them.

2) We have to limit distractions to give our kids our best attention. Especially in a world like we live in today where we are so accessible through our phones, it’s easy for our children to have to fight for our attention. This doesn’t communicate to our children that they are important to us. What strategies do you need to put in place to limit distractions and communicate to your child their value?

3) When there’s a relational divide between you and your child, there’s usually something you can apologize for. Humility goes such a long way in parenting and the example we set for our kids. Whether it was a harsh word, an overreaction, a lack of listening, or something else, what still requires an apology that will open the door for you to connect with your child?

About Becky:

becky-harling-31Becky Harling is authentic, passionate, funny, and biblical. A best-selling author, Becky is a popular speaker at conferences, retreats and other events. She is the author of 11 books and her most recent book, How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk, has become a favorite among parents. Becky is a certified coach with the John Maxwell Team and offers coaching for parents who are struggling in their parenting journey. You can connect with Becky at


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