Note for the Listener: As you can probably guess from the title, we talk candidly about sexual intimacy in this episode. We recommend listening to it away from young ears if you have children at home.
You may have heard us mention our Date Night Community. Well, we recently did an 8-week deep-dive all about sex and sexual intimacy called “Great Sexpectations.” The content was so good—we wanted to share some of it with everyone!
Mark is joining me for this episode as we explore some of the topics like how to create a better sex life, what may surprise you is okay to do in the bedroom, and shifting how we view sexual intimacy within marriage. This is a candid (and a little bit spicy) conversation all about sex!
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Why sex begins in the kitchen
- A better goal to have for sexual intimacy
- The value of understanding your own body
- And much more!
We hope this conversation inspires you to build deeper sexual intimacy with your spouse!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Date Night
- [BOOK] Is There Really Sex After Kids?
- [BOOK] Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Creating Intimacy to Make Your Marriage Sizzle
- [BOOK] Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference
- The Orgasm Course
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Sex starts outside the bedroom. Many people believe they have “bedroom problems” but they actually have a connection problem outside the bedroom. Instead of trying to have better sex, start by considering what you are doing to hear and connect with each other’s hearts. How are you loving and serving each other? What happens outside the bedroom lays the foundation for what happens inside the bedroom.
2) Don’t give up on sexual intimacy. Life gets busy and you will have seasons with both more and less sexual intimacy depending on your circumstances. However, you should never give up on sexual intimacy. It can be hard to find time for sex when you have a baby or even young toddlers! It doesn’t get any better in elementary and middle school because it can seem that you have little ears everywhere! And if you wait until you have an empty nest, you may experience health issues that get in the way of pursuing the sexual intimacy you desire. Whatever stage of life you are in, don’t give up on sexual intimacy! Remember, sex can happen without intercourse and the goal should be loving connection. When we shift to that definition, there are a wide variety of things that can classify as sexual intimacy and bring us closer together in any season of life.
3) Stop believing there is something wrong with you. Movies and romance novels paint a picture that if you can’t achieve orgasms at the same time there must be something wrong with you. In reality, a very small percentage of people can do this! Men and women are created very differently in regard to how we experience pleasure. Instead of trying to achieve a nearly impossible standard, we should focus on the giving and receiving of pleasure within marriage. This may mean utilizing more than just intercourse to achieve orgasm—manual stimulation, oral stimulation, body rubs, and more!
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