Welcome to another bonus episode of the podcast! Mark and I like to share these bonus episodes every once in a while, and their purpose is to give you some quick encouragement and support that you can apply to your life.
In this episode, we want to share something with you called “Impact Over Intent.” This is a huge issue for relationships that can cause us to communicate defensively instead of empathetically in how we are communicating with our spouse, family member, or anyone in our life.
Whether you have a misunderstanding in your relationship or when communicating with someone is hurting, we often unintentionally focus on our intent, trying to explain why we said what we did. All the while, we miss how those comments landed on that other person’s heart, and we miss the opportunity to be understanding to the hurt they are experiencing as a result of how what we said was received.
Thank you for being part of the No More Perfect community. We hope this episode is helpful!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Grab your 3 free ebooks!
- No More Perfect Marriages by Mark & Jill Savage
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Such a needful tool.
I’m trying to wrap my head around this and want to see my husbands heart in my hands as I talk to him.
I am not sure I fully see how I am ( I’ve got him figured out… or so I think ha !)
I’m wondering – if I have a opinion about say a house remodeling item and I feel like he’s dismissive of my preferences -but it’s important to me . Do I accept that the thing will not change and be ok about it ,or do I at another time try to say how that made me feel when he said that thing was not important?
I typically express my opinions when I feel like it’s something I’d like ( most times I accept whatever), but when I do want ti have say in something (like this silly home project
A fresh, as of today conversation.)
This is our dance.
I’m starting counseling
( again)but he’s not open to that ( I’ve asked several times in our 43 years) and he won’t go . I love him and he loves me and I wish we could connect better .
I know you may not be able to answer this but it was a way to process I think .
Laura, great questions! One question you might ask him in a time of non-conflict, “Most of the time I’m pretty easy-going on home remodeling things. Occasionally though something comes along that’s really important to me. I don’t feel you always know when those times are because I don’t feel like I’m being heard. How could I best communicate to you when I really want you to consider my input on a project?”