In the business world, the ones who make it to the top are often high-achieving, ruthless, and confident. They’re calculated risk-takers. All of these characteristics can help professionals move up the ladder—but they don’t always translate well in those same people’s personal lives. In fact, when people try to take the strategies that bring them workplace success and apply them at home, they can end up harming their marriages.

On the inside, high achievers often fear rejection and shy away from vulnerability—which can make it hard to achieve the close, loving relationships they desire.

This was the experience of today’s guest. Lantz Howard is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and a trained marriage therapist who helps leaders live in their true identity so they can experience more intimacy, more sex, and more connection with their spouse.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

Why business strategies don’t apply at home
The importance of uncovering your needs
Practical tips for escaping a performance mindset in marriage
And more!

If you or your spouse is a high-achieving type, you won’t want to miss out on this conversation!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

My Key Takeaways:

1) Vulnerability is the path to intimacy. High achievers can struggle to show what they consider to be weaknesses to their spouse. They have often gotten to where they are by doing things themselves. Help from others may not have been part of the equation, and so they have learned to be self reliant—losing touch with the part of themselves that knows how to lean on others for support. While these people may view vulnerability as a liability, it’s important for them to remember that their spouse will never know who they truly are if they don’t open up and let down their guard.

2) Start with knowing yourself. Before you can share yourself with your spouse, you have to uncover the root of who you are—your past, your needs, your desires. Many of these things may be buried under the surface if they did not serve you in your profession. In order to have a deep, intimate relationship with your spouse, it’s important to take the time to reconnect with these parts of yourself.

3) Strategize about how to stay connected at home. This is where your business sense can be an asset! What if you wanted your marriage to improve in the next quarter? The next year? You would make a plan for how you were going to see your marriage profits soar! Sit down with your spouse and strategize how to intentionally spend time together, investing in your relationship. These could be more serious dates where you share your needs, wants, and desires. Or it could simply be building connection and intimacy by doing something fun together.

About Lantz:

Lantz Howard is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), trained marriage therapist, and podcast host. For over 20 years, he has been helping leaders experience freedom. Lantz guides executives, business owners, and CEOs to lead from their true identity so they can experience more intimacy, more sex, and more connection with their spouse. He’s been married for 21 years and is raising four daughters. Lantz resides in Denison, Texas, where during his free time, he likes to adventure in the mountains, run in Spartan Races, or explore his new hobby of surfing.

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2 Comments

Wilberforce Tushemereirwe on April 19, 2026 at 9:33 am

I identify with hiding my areas of weakness from my wife. I have learned that this is not good for our marriage because by hiding my vulnerability I deny her an opportunity to supplement/support me in my areas of weakness
- JillSavage on April 20, 2026 at 6:41 pm
  
  That is such an important realization!