For those of us who are married, we would testify that there are times when marriage is hard. There are ups and downs and challenges that we face while learning how to blend two lives into one. You may often hear Mark and I talk about that in this space.
Relationships can often hit bumps in the road. This is true of marriages, family relationships, or close friendships. But sometimes those relationships are more than disappointing or difficult. There are times when marriages can be destructive and relationships are toxic. If we are in a destructive relationship, what should we do?
My guest, Leslie Vernick, specializes in this. She helps women walk in truth, find their voice, and invite their partners into healthy change so that destructive patterns can be broken. Leslie is a relationship coach, international speaker, and author of seven books including The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship. She lives in the Phoenix, AZ area and has two children and three grandchildren.
Join me as Leslie shares:
- What the Bible says regarding relationships and wicked people
- The difference between challenging and destructive relationships
- Unhealthy relationship patterns we can bring into marriage
- And more!
I hope you are encouraged and strengthened by this conversation!
Trigger Warning: I want to let my listeners know this episode contains mentions of physical abuse, rape, and injury to a child. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, consider skipping this one or at least skipping the story of injury to a child at 11:00 – 11:30.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- [BOOK ] The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
- [BOOK] The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
- Walking in Core Strength Program
- Conquer Membership
- Connect with Leslie on her website, Facebook, or Instagram
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) You have to do your own work. In this episode, we talked a lot about how to spot and address problems with others whether that be in a friendship or your marriage. However, it is also important to own your stuff. Every one of us is capable of stupid and harmful things. We are all sinners in need of redemption. It’s important to take a good look at what you need to own up for and then take full responsibility for it.
2) Look for changes in action. When dealing with a destructive relationship, it’s important to pay attention to actions and not just take their word for it. True change will impact their actions. Rather than making demands of you, they will be repentant and show a shift in their actions. Someone who is truly destructive is deceptive and resistant to change.
3) Take the time to know what you need. People often talk about how two people become one in marriage. However, who you are as an individual doesn’t just go away. In addition to a “me” there is also a “we” now. For women especially, there is a tendency to get to the empty nest stage of life and not know your own likes and dislikes. One of the best things you can do for your relationships is to nourish and discover who you are and what you need.
Leslie Vernick is a relationship coach, international speaker, and author of seven books including The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship. Leslie became especially interested in the topic of destructive relationships when she experienced a destructive relationship with her own mother. Leslie lives in the Phoenix, AZ area and has two children and three grandchildren.
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