Jill: Each and every week, you’ll find us on a Sunday afternoon sitting around our kitchen table together. This is a special time we set aside to make sure we are on the same page when it comes to our marriage, our calendar, and important tasks. (I shared about it over on Instagram earlier this year and the idea really connected!)
Mark: If you want to start a habit of connection through marriage meetings or enhance the intentional time you already spend together, a marriage meeting helps do just that. To help you bring this habit into your marriage, we’re sharing what we do in our marriage meetings, how to establish one in your relationship, and the benefits of setting aside this time week after week.
Why a Weekly Meeting?
Jill: A weekly marriage meeting is helpful for several reasons. Our lives naturally revolve around a seven-day rhythm, so it fits really well to plan a weekly meeting over the weekend to prepare for the following week.
Mark: Another reason is that this regular meeting helps keep us on the same team. As we go through life together, raising children, supporting one another, and helping one another achieve our dreams, we aren’t just spouses or parents together – we are teammates.
Jill: This time has become something we deeply cherish, not only because it helps with the logistics of keeping our household running smoothly, but because it helps us remain connected to one another as we go through the rhythm of life. Our marriage meeting is what tunes us in to one another.
How Do You Have a Marriage Team Meeting?
Jill: There are many things you could talk about in a marriage meeting, but we have found there are a few key aspects that are important to talk about week after week. Our goal during this time is first to connect with one another, talk about the logistics of life, and then spend time together with God.
Mark: We start off every marriage meeting by building connection with one another. This can be done by simply completing this sentence: “One thing I appreciate about you is…” When we do this we are letting our spouse know before we get into the nitty-gritty details of life that we like them and are grateful for what they do and who they are.
Jill: Next we might share something that has been weighing heavy on us or something we are excited about. This helps us to be aware of what’s going on emotionally inside our spouse–understanding what they’re worrying about. Sharing something we are excited about helps us to know what’s going on inside our spouse–what they’re excited about.
Mark: Then it’s time to look through our calendar together and talk about the logistics of the week. This could include questions like: What does our meal schedule look like for the week? Do we have any events together or separately to attend? Who’s going to pick up or drop off the grandkids? This is a vital part of our marriage meeting as it sets us up well for the rest of the week knowing we don’t have to try to communicate these things as we rush out the door.
Jill: Did you know that sometimes you can even plan out romance? This next part of our marriage meeting is when we discuss how we are going to stay connected to one another throughout the week. This includes planning out a date night, making sure we have plans to have daily connection, and even making a plan to prioritize lovemaking. That might mean you pick a date and be sure the kids are in bed on time so that you can have time to physically connect with one another.
Mark: Finally, we always end our marriage meetings by holding hands and praying together. We try to pray for the hard parts of our week, things we might be struggling with or feeling anxious about, and for our children and grandchildren. It’s a special time that we highly value before we start our week.
Jill: Once you put it all together, your marriage meeting agenda might look something like this:
How Do I Start Having a Marriage Meeting?
Mark: Sit down with your spouse and share with them what a marriage meeting is and determine the best time that will work with your schedule to have it each week. Ideally, this would be the same time each week so that you can build a habit around it. But if that doesn’t work for your schedule, it’s ok to fluctuate on time and day. The important part is to put your marriage meeting on your calendar and actually do it! (You can request the above meeting guide plus curiosity questions free HERE.)
Jill: It may take some creative planning if you have kids to be sure you get this time. We recommend letting your children watch a movie, getting a sitter and going to a coffee shop, or plan to have your meeting after they are in bed so you can minimize interruptions.
Mark: You’ll want to be sure to save our sample meeting agenda so you can reference it during your meetings. Make sure to review the questions prior to the actual meeting so that you have time to consider the questions in advance. (Our friends Bill and Pam Farrel created a book that is filled with marriage meeting agenda guides and more info about marriage meetings. You can find that here.)
Jill: All that’s left is to actually do it! You might even decide to make it a fun event by ordering in from one of your favorite restaurants or sharing a special drink together while you have your meeting.
A weekly marriage team meeting is a helpful way for couples to stay connected, communicate openly, and work together toward common goals. It’s all too easy to let the craziness of life allow you to drift apart. A weekly marriage meeting helps combat this by creating intentional opportunities for connection.
We hope it can be as helpful to you as it has been for us!
