There comes a time when every child steps into adulthood and starts to make their own choices. Some of those choices are ones we agree with, while others are not. How can we reconcile our relationship with our adult children, even in the face of our own heartache? How do we create a space for joy and understanding in our relationships with our adult kids?
Navigating the waters of this new relationship with our children is what I’m talking about today with my friend Mary DeMuth. She is an international speaker, a podcaster, and the author of 40 books, including both fiction and non-fiction. Mary’s most recent book is Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy. She lives in Texas with her husband of 30 years and is mom to three adult children.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- The danger of basing your happiness on the choices of your children
- What our adult children need to hear from us the most
- The importance of listening to your adult children
- The power of praying over your children
- And more!
I loved talking with Mary on this topic, and I know it will be an encouragement to you today!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- When You’re Misunderstood with Mary DeMuth | Episode 94
- Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy by Mary DeMuth
- A Year of Weekly Prayers for Your Adult Kids
- Listen to the Pray Every Day Podcast
- Download the I Cor 13 No More Perfect Kids Printable here: 1st Corinthians 13 for Parents
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Don’t attach your joy to your children. From the time our children are young, they can quickly become our whole world. We sacrifice much of our personal life to dedicate ourselves to their care and nourishment. As they grow up, it is easy to associate our pride, joy, and happiness with how they turn out. However, our joy needs to be internal and not based on what our kids do. If you’ve been feeling disappointed or heartbroken by your adult child’s decisions, then you need to spend some time untangling your joy from their choices.
2) You don’t need to remind your adult children of your disapproval continually. It is not your job to be the Holy Spirit for your adult children. My philosophy here is to say it once and then be silent. Our adult children don’t need the constant reminder that you disapprove of their choices. This will only serve to drive them away from you. While we can voice our disapproval and reasoning to them once, we can still interact and love them consistently despite disagreeing with them.
3) Don’t forget to praise your children. When our adult children do something we disagree with, it often blinds us to anything they do right. We fail to praise the good choices they are making. Remember, we can show our love and admiration through words, actions, or support—enabling us to foster a strong, positive relationship with our adult children. To keep the door open to build a relationship, we must look for the good things and praise them.
Mary DeMuth is an international speaker, podcaster, and author of over forty books, fiction, and nonfiction, including her latest book, Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy. Through God’s healing, Mary has overcome a difficult past to become an authentic example of what it means to live a brand-new story. She loves to help others “re-story” their lives through the books she writes. Mary lives in Texas with her husband of 30 years and is Mom to three adult children.
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