What is the Next Day Principle?
It’s a practice that we have not only implemented in our own marriage and family, but it’s also something we recommend to other couples in our coaching all the time.
It helps to slow down reactivity, giving you time to clarify your feelings and determine what you still need to take to your spouse. The Next Day Principle is simply this: instead of reacting in the moment of a conflict with the full weight of your frustrations and emotions, you wait until the next day to bring it up with your spouse.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- The value of slowing conversation down
- Tips for practicing the Next Day Principle
- The importance of being responsive rather than reactive
- And more!
We hope this conversation blesses you!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Transform Weekend
- BONUS: Intent vs. Impact | Episode 170
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Utilize this time to quiet your heart and mind. One of the benefits of the Next Day Principle is that it allows us time to move away from reactivity and determine what is at the root of our emotions. We have an opportunity to gain clarity, discern how we truly feel, determine what needs to be addressed, and be honest with ourselves and with God about what parts of a conflict we need to take ownership of.
2) Bring your hurt to your spouse. Once you’ve had the chance to sleep on it, it’s time to bring things up with your spouse. You might implement our Safe Conversation outline or approach the conversation in your own way. The beauty of this principle is that now, when you bring your hurts to your spouse, you are no longer feeling the heat of your emotions. You can approach this conversation with clarity and responsiveness.
3) Some things are better kept to yourself. Not every emotion needs to be addressed with your spouse. When you utilize the Next Day Principle, you will find that some things do not need to be said. It may be that you just needed a moment to process the feelings you experienced, and the conflict defuses by itself.
Would you like to be notified by email when a new No More Perfect Podcast episode releases? Just fill in your name and email and we’ll make sure you’re in the know!
