Have you ever heard the term “conversational intelligence?” I hadn’t before, but my guest today is an expert in it! Too often, parents of teenagers or young adults miss out on connecting because we aren’t approaching conversations in the right way. We have a tendency to lecture rather than listen, to tell rather than ask, or be controlling rather than curious. I know that last one has often been me as a parent!
My friend, Patti Reed, is joining me today. Patti is a certified coach in Conversational Intelligence®️ and is passionate about helping others improve their relationships through intentional communication. Her new book, Face to Face, helps parents approach conversations with their children with courage and intentionality to forge a healthy relationship with them.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- What it means to have Conversational Intelligence®️
- The biggest mistakes parents make when talking to their young adult children
- Why it’s important to trust God with your child’s future
- What to do when your children tell you something you don’t agree with
There is so much wisdom packed in this episode! Listen in!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Patti’s Website
- Follow Patti on Instagram
- Face to Face: Smart Conversations with Yourself, Your Teenager, and Your Young Adult by Patti Reed
- “5 Words That Will Change Your Marriage” – Instagram Reel
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks!
My Key Takeaways:
1) You won’t be able to go deep in a relationship if you don’t have trust. Every interaction we have with our older children will either build trust or reduce trust. You need to be intentional as a parent to build that trust with your teenager or young adult child in order to go deep relationally. Here’s what’s tough: Part of building trust is being able to ask for forgiveness when we break trust. That’s something we have to be willing to do, consistently.
2) Listen to connect. There is a shift in how you parent when your children start to become more independent. Rather than telling our children what to think or what decision to make, we need to start asking questions. Be curious about what your child feels or thinks about a topic. Allow them space to express themselves openly. The goal of your conversation is not to tell them the right thing to do, but rather to affirm your child in who they are, while connecting with them and providing a safe place for them to process.
3) Trust God with your children. There are no guarantees that our children will follow the path we have followed. It is almost certain that you won’t like some of the decisions they make. When this happens, we need to remember that God is the one in control of our child’s future. As our children get older, we have to learn to “pray not say,” giving their life over to God over and over again, while we focus on connecting with them, listening to them, and loving them.
Patti Reed is a certified coach in Conversational Intelligence®️, homeschool mom, and a first-time author. She is passionate about helping others improve their relationships through communication. Patti’s book, Face to Face: Smart Conversations with Yourself, Your Teenager, and Your Young Adult, helps guide parents through being intentional about drawing out their children’s God-given greatness. Patti lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area with her husband, Frank, and two children. She loves playing word games, reading, and enjoying lunch with good friends. Learn more at.https://pattireed.net/ —
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