I’m not enough. I’m unlovable. I can never get it right. I’m not wanted. I’m better off alone. I’m better off dead. I deserve this. It’s my fault.
All of these phrases are statements that many of us struggle with to some degree. And they are fueled by something called shame. And that’s what we’re talking about in this episode.
If you’ve ever thought one of these statements or if they are deeply embedded into who you believe you are, there is hope! My husband, Mark, and I share our own battle with shame and the path to overcome the messages that shame gives us. In this episode, we dig into the roots of shame, how shame has played out in our marriage, how we see it play out in the lives of others we coach, how you can find hope, and the most effective way to move towards living in truth.
Most of all, I hope you walk away knowing that you are loved by God and He alone has the answer for who you really are: His precious, beloved child. I look forward to hearing what stands out to you!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Worksheet: Satan’s Lies, God’s Replies
- Never Ever Be the Same by Larry & Kathy Miller
- Enough by Sharon Jaynes
- When You Don’t Like Your Story by Sharon Jaynes
- No More Perfect Podcast episode with Sharon Jaynes
- Released from Shame by Sandra Wilson
- The God-Empowered Wife by Karen Haught (Kindle version here)
- FREE Screensaver for your phone of truths God says about you!
My Key Takeaways:
1) There is hope! Shame can come from multiple sources: our upbringing, trauma, and even ourselves. The process of working through shame is not an easy road, but the hope and freedom on the other side of that journey is so worth it.
2) Before you can replace the lies of shame, you have to know the One that created your identity. The first step to combating shame is to know Jesus. He is the holder of who we are. Before we can trust who He says we are, we have to first know Him. When we do that, we are able to fully accept what God says about us and allow His truth to determine our identity rather than our own thoughts or what others may say about us.
3) Moving toward freedom requires replacing lies with repeated truth. If you’ve heard messages of shame over and over, it is going to take time to renew your mind and replace those messages with truth. Mark shared how he kept a list of truths in his phone that he would reference multiple times a day until they “stuck.” Why not begin that process today? Take some time to explore what messages you believe that are really from shame, and then write down the truth that combats that lie (see the worksheet mentioned above for ideas). I’ll give you the first one: You are valuable and loved by God.
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God had you post this today for me. I ordered the books. I identify with a number of the things you mentioned, one being a hole in my bucket. I need help with a lot of these. It is very painful. I am hoping the books help.
I’m so glad that this resonated with you! And even more glad that you’ve decided to actively pursue healing! Wahoo!
It would be nice to talk to someone other than through email about how you got through this process. Sometimes I feel stuck, like I’m not moving through it fast enough. No one really has the answers, I guess, other than God.
We do offer coaching sessions to do just that! We know how important it is to know you’re not alone!