Do you have boys? I have three. I have two girls and three boys, and I will tell you that raising boys is definitely different than raising girls. Have you struggled to relate to your sons? Is it difficult to know what to do with their “rough house” energy? If you’ve ever felt frustrated or at a loss when it comes to your boys, this episode is for you!
My guest today understands how boys are different and has some tips to help! Dr. Rob Currie is an award-winning author and speaker. His background for the subject of parenting boys though goes beyond his PhD in Psychology and his 20 years of teaching child psychology at Judson University. After all, he and his wife, Kay, raised two sons themselves!
In this episode, we talk about why it’s not always a negative for boys to be more aggressive, how boys often prefer to communicate differently than girls do, how we can help boys navigate their increased sex drive with puberty, how some of these insights can impact marriages, and more. I really think this one will be helpful for parents of boys, and I look forward to hearing what stands out most to you!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Rob’s Website
- [Book] Hunger Winter: A World War II Novel
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks!
My Key Takeaways:
1) Aggression is like a hammer – it can cause destruction or build a house. Boys naturally have more testosterone, which means they have more aggression than girls. But we need to stop looking at aggression as inherently bad. It can be a tool for destruction if left unchecked, but when you take the time to direct that aggression, it can be a tool for protection or motivation.
2) To connect with your sons, your conversation style needs to change. Did you know that research shows that girls prefer face-to-face conversation while boys prefer shoulder-to-shoulder conversation? This means if you want to hear how your son’s day was, you should do an activity with him! It can be doing chores together or playing a game with them. Be patient while engaging in an activity and I think you’ll be surprised how your son opens up!
3) Train your boys to view their God-given attributes as precious gifts. In addition to channeling their aggression as an asset for protection, we should teach our boys to guard their sex drive as a gift. Too often when our boys hit puberty, we view their increased sex drive as a liability to be contained. In reality, it is a God-given gift that should be protected and guarded. God designed our boys to be different from girls and those differences have great benefits within marriage! This can be a topic that parents struggle to communicate with their kids, but it so important to teach our boys to protect their hearts and view how God made them as a gift to be taken care of.
Oh and one more thing: If you appreciate the poem Rob reads at the end of the podcast, you can find it below.
Dr. Rob Currie is a Professor of Psychology at Judson University since 1987. He has his master’s degree and doctorate in psychology. Rob has taught parenting classes, helped runaway teens, and raised two sons of his own with his wife, Kay. Most recently, he released a novel called Hunger Winter: A World War II Novel. In his spare time, he likes playing basketball, cooking, and writing humorous poetry.
What is a Boy?
By Rob Currie
A boy is someone who thinks it’s more important to know if an activity’s fun than if it’s safe.
He enjoys almost anything if it’s funny or fast.
As the years pass he goes from not wanting to release your hand to insisting you let go of his.
You wonder where boys get all their energy,
You suspect they’re the reason God created guardian angels,
And you pray you have the wisdom to guide your son to manhood.
Look in his pocket and you’ll discover a surprise,
Look in his eyes and you’ll see a twinkle.
Look in his heart and you’ll find the hope that you’ll understand him and the fear that you won’t.
He’ll drive you crazy with his choices and melt your heart with his smile.
He’ll scare you, thrill you, and charm you, … all in the same day.
He’ll turn your world upside down, your heart inside out, and you can’t imagine your life without him.
He’s your boy. He’s your young man. He’s your son.
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As always, great insight and encouragement from Dr. Rob Currie!
Amy, Dr. Currie always hits a home run!
Thanks, Jill! Great podcast! I wonder if Rob’s poem is available online anywhere? I’d love to have a copy of it!
Hi Nancy, because of your request, it’s now available in the show notes! You can find it here: https://jillsavage.org/rob-currie-50/