img_7047Mark: Jill had a rough day last Wednesday. She couldn’t sleep and so she got up in the night and decided to do a few things to the blog she’d been wanting to get done.

Jill: I know just enough HTML code to get myself in trouble…and I did just that.  I researched a change I wanted to make, cut and pasted the code to make the change, and took the whole blog down! If you got the blog post last week about joining the No More Perfect Marriages launch team and then tried to submit the form, you likely got an error!

Mark: She was so frustrated with herself. I tried to be compassionate and reassure her in the midst of her frustration, but there wasn’t much I could do for her except pray. I did that throughout the day.

Jill: Our daughter Anne could be called our “webmaster” and she worked throughout the day to get the blog up and going again. We were so grateful for her help. Somewhere around 3pm she finally got it back online! I was so relieved!  Just a few hours before, though, God had really tugged on my heart about the need to give myself grace. God gives us grace, which is undeserved mercy. We have to learn to give both others and ourselves grace when things go awry in this imperfect life. Grace is when we accept ourselves as a human who make mistakes.

Mark: Sometimes the hardest person to forgive and extend grace to is ourselves. Yet it so important to do so when we get things wrong….and we will get things wrong!

Jill: What meant the most to me last Wednesday, though, was knowing that Mark was caring, compassionate, and praying for me. His support–without lecture–was a balm to my frustrated heart.

Mark: Of course, I did want to FIX IT, but that just wasn’t possible. There wasn’t anything I could do. And Jill was frustrated enough with herself that reminding her that she should leave the coding to the professionals wasn’t going to be helpful in that moment.

Jill: With this situation fresh in our minds, here are some guidelines for navigating things well when a spouse messes up:

  • Offer words of encouragement. Remind him/her that they’re human and not perfect. Be empathetic with their frustration.
  • Resist sayings anything that is corrective. It’s not the right time.  Keep.Your.Mouth.Shut unless it’s kind, caring, or compassionate.
  • Pray. And let your spouse know you’re praying. If you’re both comfortable, pray aloud for your spouse. This moves both of your eyes from the mountain to the Mountain Mover.

Mark: The best part of Jill’s mistake is that we’re extending the time to sign up for the No More Perfect Marriages launch team to this Wednesday and WE NEED YOU!  We’re looking for both individuals and couples.  We need everyday people who just want to take their marriage to the next level. You don’t have to be on every social media outlet. Your spouse doesn’t have to participate, but is welcome to if he or she wants to. Need the details?  You’ll find them HERE as well as the form to submit!

What about you? Of the three steps above, which one do you need to work on most when your spouse messes up?  Would you consider being part of the launch team? 

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