If you’ve heard our marriage story, then you likely know that I believed our marriage could be restored even when Mark had checked out and was pursuing another relationship. This is often referred to as “standing for your marriage,” but it could also be described as a waiting season. While I wouldn’t wish a season like this on anyone, the lessons I learned while waiting were invaluable. Those lessons have become the heart of our online course, The Wait Is Not Wasted.
Several of my friends and coaching clients have also had to endure this season of waiting in their marriage, and my friend Tiarra Atkinson is one of them. Tiarra married her husband, Anthony, in May of 1999, but there was a season when she had to stand for her marriage for nearly two years.
Tiarra is a licensed clinical social worker and a self-described “brain science nerd.” She works at a brain health center as a therapist specializing in the intersection of physical and mental health.
In this conversation, you’ll hear:
- Tiarra’s story of standing for her marriage
- Factors that can contribute to your relationship breaking down
- How to utilize a season of waiting
- And so much more!
I’m grateful that Tiarra and Anthony are open about their story! Even if you are not struggling in your marriage, there are so many powerful takeaways you’ll hear in this episode. Listen in!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Wait Is Not Wasted Course
- The Wait Is Not Wasted Webinar
- Rebuilding Trust Course
- Rebuilding Trust Webinar
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Messages from our past often inform our present. The lens through which we see the world is greatly informed by our family of origin and life experiences. When we take a closer look at the issues in our marriages, how we respond to our spouse, and how they respond to us, we will often find that these issues are rooted in things we haven’t dealt with from our past. By taking the time to understand our triggers and attachment styles, we can better understand our spouse and the issues that pop up.
2) Consider how you have contributed to the dysfunction. One of the most valuable things you can do during a season of waiting is to dig into how you have contributed to the dysfunction in your marriage. Take the time to question and examine your own stuff. Both you and your spouse contributed to the crumbling of your marriage, and we have to own up for our part in that. This may look like going to therapy, seeking out a counselor or coach, working on your attachment issues, or learning how to better manage your emotions.
3) Prayer works. I wish I could list this one multiple times! Prayer truly makes a difference. I can’t tell you the number of times prayer made a difference. It is responsible for growing our faith, keeping us going when things seem hopeless, nurturing hope, and drawing us closer to God. If there is one thing I could recommend you do while waiting, it is to pray!
Tiarra Atkinson is a licensed clinical social worker and a self-described “brain science nerd,” which serves her well in her work. She works at a brain health center as a therapist specializing in the intersection of physical and mental health. Tiarra has been married to her husband, Anthony, since 1999, and they have a son together.
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