Have you ever felt more like roommates than husband and wife? Most couples go into marriage with forever in mind, but then life happens. There are times when you may find yourself clashing with your spouse, and instead of growing closer together, you are being driven further apart.
In these cases, you have three options: get divorced and co-parent if you have children, wait until the children are grown and then divorce, or get radical about turning your marriage around.
Joining us to discuss this important topic is a couple who chose the third option. Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo are the hosts of one of the top marriage podcast, The ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show, where they speak to a worldwide audience about sex, love, and commitment. They challenge every listener to make their marriage a priority. Their bestselling book, The 6 Pillars of Intimacy, has changed countless marriages around the world.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- How self-leadership impacts your relationship
- What it means to go “volcano” or “iceberg” in your marriage
- The importance of prioritizing your marriage relationship
- And so much more!
This conversation was such an encouragement to take a closer look at what we can do today to strengthen and invest in our marriage!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- [BOOK] The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage
- ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show
- [BOOK] How We Love
- [BOOK] Bo’s Café
- [BOOK] Is There Really Sex After Kids?
- Connect with Tony and Alisa on their website, Facebook, or Instagram
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.
My Key Takeaways:
1) Parenting is just one season of your marriage. Once children enter the picture, it can seem like all of our spare time is spent changing diapers, ensuring school days go smoothly, dealing with meltdowns, and more. But no matter how busy life gets, you can’t afford to stop investing in your marriage. Parenting is just one season of your marriage—there may be many before, and there will certainly be many after your children have left the nest. No matter what season you find yourself in, never forget to make your marriage a top priority.
2) Remember, you are on the same team. It is all too easy to feel at odds with your spouse when the going gets tough. When life throws hard things your way, it’s important to remember that you are on the same team. You are not at odds with one another, it’s both of you versus the problem or circumstances you are facing.
3) Practice self-leadership. Most couples don’t understand how their personal responsibility impacts their marriage. Each and every person brings their own past experiences, trauma, and areas they need to work on into the marriage relationship. Both spouses have a responsibility to lead ourselves to healing, overcome personal challenges, and bring our better selves to our marriage. As we do this, we’ll find that we are able to make a dynamic change to our relationship. Start by asking if there is one small action you can take (or not take) to practice this today. For Alisa, it was making sure she engaged in eye contact to communicate to Tony that she was engaged in the conversation and not retreating into her “iceberg” state.
About Tony & Alisa:
Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo are bestselling authors, podcast hosts, and couples coaches. As the founders of ONE Extraordinary Marriage, they believe that the healthy combination of sex, love, and commitment is the glue that will keep a marriage together. Tony and Alisa have been married since 1996 and have two children together. Today, they live in Naples, Florida where they share insight to strengthen marriages worldwide through social media, podcast episodes, and writing.
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