We left the marriage counselor’s office feeling a bit overwhelmed with the realization that sometimes marriage is really hard.
Our nearly 30 years of marriage had experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. We knew for better and for worse. This season definitely classified as “for worse.”
After serving as a pastor for 20 years, my husband, Mark decided to leave church ministry and launch his own construction company. This is something he’d always wanted to do and he anticipated the transition to be a positive move. However he underestimated how much his identity was tied to pastoring.
A year later he spiraled emotionally, hit the lowest season of depression he’d ever experienced, and headed right into a full-on midlife crisis. Affair included.
It was the darkest year of our lives and the hardest time in our marriage.
It took a full 18 months of weekly marriage counseling to put the wheels back on the bus. Rebuilding our marriage led to huge discoveries about ourselves and each other.
- We identified our own personal operating systems and stopped trying to change each other.
- We acknowledged any unhealthy relating patterns we each carried from our families of origin and replaced those with healthy patterns.
- We explored how to give and receive love and honed in on speaking love in a way that our partner could understand.
- We identified our slow fades that were pulling us apart and started using our God-Tools to move our hearts back towards each other.
Each step took us closer to what we longed for in marriage and what we didn’t even know we were missing until infidelity blew our relationship apart.
Your imperfect marriage is a gift that you probably don’t fully appreciate. It’s the potter’s wheel where you can be shaped and molded to be the best version of you…if you’ll let the Potter do the shaping and molding He wants to do.
Several years after we put the broken pieces of our marriage back together, we decided to share our story–the good, the bad, and the ugly—in a book we titled No More Perfect Marriages.
We also created the FREE 4-week No More Perfect Marriages E-Challenge to help individuals and couples experience some of the ah-ha moments that became game-changers in our marriage. This four-week challenge includes three quizzes to help you see your relationship in a fresh way.
Are you ready to look at yourself, your spouse, and your marriage through a different lens?
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