Have you ever felt that spark go out of life?
Like you’re stuck in that dreary, black-and-white part of a TV infomercial, waiting for the happy music and bright colors to kick in… only they never come?
Whether it’s from busyness, stress, or just living life on autopilot, anyone can start to feel like they are stuck in place from time to time. This happens when we become stagnant in our personal journeys.
In our own story, we experienced this right before our marriage crisis. We were both “floating through life”, feeling stuck and thinking that things could never change.
What we didn’t realize at the time was that we both needed to invest in our personal healing and individual growth before we could begin to repair our marriage.
Moving from Jill 1.0 to Jill 2.0 | Episode 240
Moving from Mark 1.0 to Mark 2.0 | Episode 251
The truth is, everyone, at any stage of life, can benefit from introspection, addressing the wounds of the past, and taking practical action to grow as individuals. By investing in your personal growth, you can show up better for yourself, help your light shine brighter, and make sure your cup is filled up.
We often refer to this personal growth as moving from the 1.0 version of yourself to the 2.0 version. This journey is a vital part of not only revitalizing your joy in life, but also reconnecting with who God created you to be. What’s more, as you continue walking with intention in your healing, you’ll find yourself building and nurturing stronger, more fulfilling relationships with the people who matter most in your life.
No matter what area of your life is making you feel stuck right now, the path forward starts when you take some simple first steps toward personal healing.
Here is our best advice as you begin your journey:
1) Examine the wounds of the past.
From our childhood to our formative teenage years and even our time as an adult, all of our past experiences can shape how we show up in the world today.
Did our parents yell or scream when they were upset? We likely struggle to navigate conflict as a result.
Did our high school sports coach constantly put us down? If so, we may find it hard to have confidence in our skills.
Did we navigate infidelity or betrayal in the past? We might find it difficult to trust today.
If you look back and examine your life, there are probably numerous areas where your past is contributing to patterns in your present.
However, when you identify these areas and take steps to heal past wounds, you can avoid dragging emotional baggage into your future. To us, “baggage” means:
- Areas where we need to pursue personal growth
- Instances of trauma or hurt from the past that remain unhealed
- Learned behaviors, habits, and thinking patterns from our childhood that no longer serve us
Check out these additional resources to dig deeper:
Personal Operating Systems Inventory
The Attachment Quiz
2) Take responsibility for your “junk.”
Once you’ve taken the time to honestly reflect on which of your past wounds are still stinging, you face a choice: will you keep ignoring those hurts and let them quietly drain your spark, or will you face them head-on and take ownership of your story?
We all have “stuff” we carry around with us, and it contributes greatly to how our relationships function. We’ve referred to this “stuff” as baggage, junk, or dysfunction.
Owning your “junk” doesn’t mean blaming yourself for the painful baggage you’re carrying. It simply means being honest about what’s there, taking accountability for the parts you’re responsible for, and letting go of the rest.
This process may not be easy or quick, but here’s what we want you to know:
When you finally unpack all that “junk” you’ve been carrying around, you’ll likely find that your heart feels much lighter.
While you can’t force others to grow, you can own up and take responsibility for the dysfunction you may be bringing into your relationships—whether those are family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships. When you accomplish this, it will benefit you and everyone around you.
3) Embrace who God made you to be.
Did you know that God made you as a unique individual? He gave you talent, passions, and skills that nobody else on this Earth has!
However, sometimes we find ourselves without any free time to pursue those activities that bring us delight. Or perhaps the qualities that make us special aren’t always appreciated or valued.
If you feel like you’ve been losing your spark, it’s important to take the time to embrace all the things that make you uniquely you!
These are the activities, hobbies, and values that give us joy and purpose as we go about our day. We will always have hard seasons that come and go through our lives. However, we can still find glimmers of delight even in our darkest moments if we invest our time and energy into doing the things that we are passionate about.
Today, we challenge you to rediscover one personal interest you’ve let slip to the side and pick it back up. This could be as simple as a walk in the sunshine or as bold as signing up for that class you’ve been eyeing. The key is to lean into what truly sparks joy and excitement in your heart.
LISTEN: Finding Whimsy and Delight with Bob Goff | Episode 227
4) Build healthy habits.
We can all do a better job of taking care of ourselves, both physically and mentally.
Healthy habits are a crucial part of personal healing—and the key word here is habits. Not those short bursts of motivation that make you want to eat kale, do yoga, and run a 5k all in one day before crashing back into old routines. We’re talking about steady, sustainable habits that actually reshape your lifestyle for the long haul.
Perhaps you’ve read the popular self-help book Atomic Habits by James Clear. If so, you’ll know that he says, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” This is so true—and it’s why we must develop intentional, specific, practical habits that will help us get one step closer to our goals every day.
Here are a few examples of healthy habits you might try to establish based on your goals:
- I want to get better sleep, so I will stop using screens one hour before bed
- I want to be more hydrated, so I will replace the soda, tea, or juice I usually drink with meals with a cup of water
- I want to get more fit, so I will move my body for at least thirty minutes every day
- I want to deepen my faith, so I will prioritize a regular devotional time each morning or evening
Although building habits is a personal journey, you can make it more fun by including your loved ones where it makes sense. In our case, we’ve started going on nightly walks together, which not only keeps us physically healthy, but we get to share in conversation that strengthens us emotionally.
It might take a good bit of effort and commitment to build a habit, but once you get that momentum rolling, your healthy habits will likely become moments you really look forward to!
5) Invest in yourself.
We know that it can be challenging to find the time to invest in your personal growth, whether that be through self-work or seeking the help of a professional.
However, we strongly encourage you to give it a shot. We bet you’ll be surprised at how impactful this choice can actually be.
Think about how much we invest into other areas of life—we spend money on clothes to present our best outward appearance, on experiences to entertain ourselves, and on decor to make our homes inviting. Yet with all the time and money we pour outward, we rarely direct that same energy inward.
When you stop and think about it, doesn’t that seem a little backwards?
We want you to know that you are so worth investing in. Just as you’d invest in medicine or physical therapy if your body were sick or injured, it’s more than okay to invest in your personal healing when your heart or mind needs care too.
We’ve found it incredibly helpful for encouragement and accountability to have a community around you that is also striving to improve. There are so many wonderful groups that you can join for numerous hobbies, or you can take advantage of support groups at your church or community center. Some churches may even match you with a mentor who will walk alongside you.
Taking the time to invest in personal growth and healing can be difficult. Often, we’re yearning to push the pause button on life just to get a chance to reflect and breathe.
Maybe you can relate. You feel like life is passing you by as you navigate on autopilot. You might feel as though:
- You are always tired or unmotivated.
- Your friendships, family relationships, or romantic life aren’t where you want them to be.
- You aren’t sure where to go next in life.
- Your light is slowly fading out.
- You aren’t experiencing as much joy lately.
- Your faith has become stagnant.
All of these are signs that you need help to find a fresh vision, new skills, powerful insights, and a heart that is open to God’s work in your life.
This is precisely why we created our Transform Weekend. It’s a dedicated weekend with seven other individuals who are looking to do the personal work of investing in themselves.
One participant shared about their experience:
“This powerful and amazing change has improved every area, thought, and moment of my life… healing the root of my wounds. I am full of joy, peace, and confidence. It’s also given me the tools to know how to process problems or challenges that surface. I cannot recommend attending this enough! I encourage you to give yourself the amazing gift of transformation. It has changed my life!” – Jami
If you’ve been wanting to jumpstart your growth and show up as your best self in life, then you won’t want to miss our next Transform Weekend coming up in October!
Click here to learn more or reserve your spot! >>
