In February of 2012, Valentine’s Day was anything but enjoyable for me.
Twelve days earlier, my husband had left and my world was turned upside down. Not only that, but infidelity was a part of why he left, so there was a double-whammy on my heart.
Here’s an excerpt from a post I shared around that time:
“I’m still sleeping single in a king-sized bed and honestly evenings and nights are the hardest for me. This is when loneliness kicks in. It’s when feelings of rejection threaten to overtake me and tears of pain seem to come without warning.”
That year, Valentine’s Day was really hard. It certainly didn’t feel special and it looked nothing like the chocolatey, fluffy-bunny filled Valentine messaging we see in commercials or on social media.
You might be feeling that as well, and I want you to know that I see you.
Maybe you’re not married and you’re not in a relationship, but you wish you were.
Maybe you are married and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be.
Maybe your spouse just left.
Maybe you’ve never been married.
Maybe you’ve been through a divorce.
If Valentine’s Day is hard for you this year, please know that you are not alone. You are not “less than.” And it is not wrong for you to experience the emotions you’re experiencing.
As we approach the holiday, I want to share two things with you:
1) I want you to know that God has already sent you a valentine.
Maybe this sounds “cheesy,” but it’s 100% true. That valentine is His Word…the Bible.
God loves you way more than you could ever imagine. He is proud of you. He sees you. He is with you. He cares for you. And He loves you with a deep, eternal, unshakable love.
Here are some of the words He shares in His valentine to you:
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.” – Isaiah 54:10
You are so loved, my friend. Remember that during this next week especially.
2) Resist the urge to compare your insides to other people’s outsides.
In today’s world, it’s easy to look at others and think that their life is so much better than yours. Days like Valentine’s Day tempt us to do that even more.
The truth is that there is so much more in the behind-the-scenes of people’s lives that we don’t see.
Instead of comparing your insides to other people’s outsides, take some time and make a list of 15-20 things you’re grateful for in YOUR life. Even in the midst of a difficult or heartbreaking season, what blessings has God provided? What do you still have?
I want to encourage you to actually write those things down and each day from now until the end of Valentine’s Day, keep thanking God for those things. This will shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. That’s a Valentines gift to give to yourself!
You truly are not alone,
P.S. If you’ve been through a divorce, I want to highly recommend my friend Barb’s Confidence Course. This is all about getting your groove back after divorce, and is filled with so much truth. I 100% trust Barb and have watched her walk through an unwanted divorce with incredible integrity.
P.P.S. If you’re married and your marriage is in a good place OR a hard place, I’d like to invite you to join Mark and I at our upcoming No More Perfect Marriages: Home Edition Seminar. From the comfort of your own home, you can join us over the course of 4 weeks to a stronger, more connected marriage.
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