Several years ago, my daughter and I wrote a book called Better Together all about building your “mom tribe.” These are the women you hang with, the ones you care for, and those that care for you. In this book, I talk about sharing our stories and how we all have stories to share.

Today, I am inviting two women who are in my own mom tribe to share their stories with us. They have both been on my podcast before sharing their expertise. My friend, Susan Seay, a speaker, podcast host, mom of 7 kids, and mom coach extraordinaire, was on an episode titled “How to Increase Your Energy.” My friend, Barb Roose, is a speaker, author, mom, teaching pastor, and a literary agent, and was on an episode titled “When Life Feels Like More Than You Can Handle.”

In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • How we can listen to understand rather than listen to defend or debate.
  • A continuation of a conversation Barb, Susan, and I started three years ago.
  • Barb and Susan’s personal stories and experiences of race throughout their life.
  • Why Barb and Susan rarely have these conversations with white friends or acquaintances.

It means so much to me that my friends were willing to bravely share their stories with us today, and I hope it’s the spark of similar conversations in your own life.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

My Key Takeaways:

1) We can learn to listen to understand. In our work with married couples, Mark and I talk about this all the time. So often, couples listen to defend, argue, or debate, rather than listening to truly understand. Making that shift is a game-changer for marriages, and it’s a game-changer for approaching the topic of race as well. Let’s be people who listen to understand.

2) “This is my lived experience.” This is a quote from Susan after she shared a frightening story from a road trip she took in college. This story wasn’t passed down from her mother or grandmother. This was a story that happened in her life. Susan is a peer of mine. She’s my friend and her experience is real.

3) “There were far too many people who said, ‘No, that couldn’t have happened to you.'” This quote is from Barb after she shared a story of her experience when her car broke down. People’s first response when she shared that story was to belittle her experience or set it aside as a misunderstanding, rather than listen to understand. We can be the ones who work to stop that cycle.

About Susan & Barb:


Susan Seay is a seasoned mom of seven, a certified Life Coach, speaker, and podcast host. Her passion is using her background in Psychology to give women practical tools to help shift their mindsets about motherhood. She has been the featured speaker at the IF Gathering and Mothers of Preschoolers International’s Mom Con. Susan has been married to her college sweetheart, Ron, for over 25 years and they have seven children together. She loves to talk about food, business strategies, and each family member’s daily wins! Susan lives in Austin, Texas. Learn more at —



Barb Roose is a speaker and author that is passionate about teaching women to live a life characterized by courage, beauty, and strength so they can experience God’s purpose for their lives. Barb is open and real about her own life struggles of depression, anxiety, parenting challenges, family addiction, trauma, and seasons of unanswered prayer. She has spoken on national platforms including the She Speaks Conference and UMC Leadership Institute. Barb is the proud mom of three adult children and resides in northwest Ohio. When she isn’t speaking or writing, she enjoys traveling, reading, and eating dessert first. Learn more at —



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