Conflict…it’s one of our favorite topics in the world. Just kidding! Most of us try to steer clear of conflict, and those of us who embrace it don’t always handle it in the healthiest ways. We’ve certainly all had moments where we looked back at how we handled a conflict and wondered: Why did I handle it that way?

In this conversation, we are taking a look at the many aspects of conflict, from how we can honor God when we’ve been hurt, how to communicate when we’d rather retaliate, and how we can move toward others when it seems so much easier to run away.

Joining me for today’s episode is my friend, Donna Jones. Donna is deeply passionate about helping us apply God’s Word so it changes our lives, our relationships, and our world. She is a pastor’s wife and an international speaker. Donna is also the author of four books, including her latest, Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life.

In this conversation, you’ll hear:

• The single factor that determines success in resolving conflict
• Common mistakes that make conflict worse
• Tips for having hard conversations
• And so much more!

It’s a treat to have Donna back on the podcast. Listen in!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• [BOOK] Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: A Biblical Guide for Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regret
• Becoming Confident & Secure with Donna Jones | Episode 84
• When Adult Children Shut You Out with Sarah | Episode 180
• Connect with Donna on her website, Facebook, or Instagram
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Seek to understand. It is crucial to approach conflict with a humble attitude that seeks to understand more than we are seeking to be understood. When this happens, we are making space for the other person to share how a conflict has affected them without excusing our behavior or providing justification for our actions. This is a great place to start because it allows us to hear where the other person is coming from. It’s important to note that this does not mean we become a doormat who never shares our hurts and feelings. It simply means that we are opening the doorway for communication and understanding to begin.

2) How we apologize matters. When we have hurt someone, they want to know that we understand how we’ve hurt them. Too often, apologies are shallow and don’t communicate authenticity. A true apology might sound something like this: “I’m sorry I did ____. I know it affected you this way ____. Will you please forgive me?”

3) Share your feelings, opinions, and thoughts. As we mentioned before, just because we need to have humility when approaching conflict does not mean that we never share our feelings and hurts. Even if there is a valid reason why someone behaved or said something, it is still important to communicate your feelings to prevent bitterness from building up inside. One of the ways to begin to share how a situation affected you is simply by asking, “Can I tell you how this made me feel?” Healthy conflict resolution allows a time for both parties to communicate how they were hurt, how that made them feel, and to receive an apology for those hurts.

About Donna:

Donna Jones is a self-described Bible explainer. Her desire is not only to help listeners understand God’s Word, but to grasp how they can live it out in their daily lives. Donna is a speaker, pastor’s wife, host of the That’s Just What I Needed podcast, and author of four books including Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God. She’s a sucker for a strong cup of coffee and a pair of cute shoes. Donna is a mom to three young adult kids that she loves to chat with around their kitchen counter in California.

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