Infidelity: it’s not something we ever thought would be part of our story, but it happened to us. And we healed. Now God is allowing us to bring hope and help to those who are walking a similar journey.
If you’re here because the bottom has just dropped out of your marriage, we want you to know you’re not alone. We know things feel very scary right now and maybe even hopeless.
We want you to know there is hope and we want to help you find it. In fact, you may need to borrow our hope for a season. That’s okay!
You probably are having trouble thinking straight. With that in mind, here are some practical next steps you can take.
Read our FREE 10 Day No More Perfect Marriages Blog Series. You can request it in an easy-to-read PDF format here. If you’re both willing to read it, that will be valuable. If you’re the only one willing to read it, it’s still valuable.
If you’re the one who’s been betrayed, Jill has a little book we highly recommend you get. It’s called My Heart is Broken: Your Next Steps For When Your Spouse Is Unfaithful. (Formerly Your Next Steps: What To Do When Your Spouse Is Unfaithful.)
If you’re the one who was unfaithful, we recommend Mark’s new book: I Really Messed Up: Your Next Steps to Heal Your Marriage After An Affair.
We also recommend you get our free e-book Roadmap for Rebuilding Trust In A Marriage.
Get help. We offer one-on-one, couples coaching, and marriage intensives. We’ve been where you are and we know the steps to healing. Let us help you. Don’t do this alone. You can learn more and schedule a coaching session. Our most effective resource for affair recovery is our Marriage 2.0 Intensive.
Do the free 10-Days to a Better Marriage devotional on The YouVersion Bible App. This will help keep your head and heart in the right place.
If you’re both in a place that you are ready to get after rebuilding trust, you can start our Rebuilding Trust Online Course today!
If you’re the only one who wants help and is willing to invest in the marriage, please check out our The Wait Is Not Wasted Online Experience.
Listen to these No More Perfect Podcast Episodes:
#3–Lessons Learned From An Imperfect Marriage
#6–How to Rebuild Trust In A Relationship
#30–What’s a Slow Fade and Why Does It Matter in Marriage?
(You can also find these on whatever podcast platform you use to listen to podcasts. Just search for the No More Perfect Podcast.)
Get a copy of No More Perfect Marriages. Once you understand the slow fades that have been robbing you of intimacy, you’ll begin to understand what was unknowingly happening underneath the surface of your relationship. However, we won’t leave you there. On the pages of this book we equip you with the eight God-Tools that will help you move from a 1.0 surviving relationship to a 2.0 thriving relationship.
Get help. I know we already said this but we can’t say this enough. Healing requires investment, but it’s a worthy investment. You’re investing not only in your marriage but in your children and even future generations. You need a safe, confidential place to process, understand, heal, and move forward. Find the help you need here.
I would really like the help because after 3 years of living with the other woman my husband has come home but I don’t trust him. I found out that he has fathered a child with her but he hasn’t said anything to me about it.He leaves home every evening for at least two hours and I know that he goes there. I do not feel as if he is fully committed to working on our marriage as we haven’t even spoken about what has happened. I have prayed and asked God to take the anger away and to help me to forgive. I think He heard me because I know that I have forgiven him but the trust is just not there.
Shereen, forgiveness and trust are two very different things. Forgiveness only takes one person, rebuilding trust takes two.
I am the one who had the affair. Since it was over a 2 year period and many recommitments there is much I do not remember. How do I get past when my partner remembers more of my behavior than I do as it seems I am not being transparent. Help
Valerie, this is very common when trust is being rebuilt. Mark experienced it as well. The key is to tell your spouse your fear and to commit that you will be fully honest with what you remember. Secondly, stay humble and surrendered when interacting with your spouse about things he remembers that you do not. If you guys haven’t already, do check out our Rebuilding Trust course: https://jillsavage.org/rebuilding-trust-roadmap-course/ We cover how to handle alot of things like this in the course.
I would really like to be able to listen to the recorded workshop
How we rebuilt our marriage after broken trust.
Lisa, you can find that here: https://jillsavage.org/rebuilding-trust-webinar-registration/