What is a “Midlife Marriage”? It’s the season of life that begins after the whirlwind of kids’ soccer practices, dance recitals, and endless extracurriculars comes to an end—when the nest is empty, and it’s just you and your spouse, rediscovering life together.
As parents, it’s natural to focus all your energy on raising your children, and while this journey is so rewarding, it can take a lot out of you. What we have discovered in our coaching and in our own marriage is that, when all of your kids have ventured out on their own, many couples lose the original connection that brought them together. It’s almost as if they have become strangers in the empty nester season of life.
While maneuvering this midlife marriage stage may sound daunting and you might be wondering if you can ever rekindle your love again, we are here to say that there is life and love after kids!
In this episode, you’ll learn about:
- How to build patterns into your marriage that nurture connection
- Ways you can start reigniting the flame
- A template for starting the “midlife marriage” conversation with your spouse
- And much more!
We hope this conversation is helpful to you, whether you’re still in your parenting phase or quickly approaching your midlife marriage!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- “Who Are You?” Song by Steve & Annie Chapman
- [BOOK] No More Perfect Marriages
- [BOOK] Your Spouse Isn’t the Person You Married: Keeping Love Strong through Life’s Changes
- [BOOK] Empty Nest, Full Life
- How to Have Fun Together in Your Marriage | Episode 230
- Improving Sexual Intimacy in Marriage | Episode 215
- The Attachment Quiz
- Understanding Attachment Course
- The Marriage Playbook
- The Luxury Marriage Retreat
- Upcoming Speaking Events
- As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks
My Key Takeaways:
1) Beware of the slow fade of child-centeredness. This is something we talk about in our No More Perfect Marriages book. Child-centeredness happens when we place our children above our marriage relationship. Somewhere between changing diapers, getting kiddos off to school, and preparing them to navigate the world independently, our marriage can end up taking a backseat. In your midlife marriage years, you may find that your spouse feels distant to you. When this happens, know that it’s a common experience—and there are steps you can take to regrow deep intimacy and connection.
2) Begin by having fun with your spouse again. We love this piece of advice! By the time you hit your midlife marriage stage, you often no longer have the financial constraints you did when you were raising young children. Good news—you can now take the time to re-discover all your old favorite hobbies and take those trips that were too difficult to navigate before. It’s time to start having fun with your spouse again!
3) This is your invitation to get curious about your spouse. If you find that your spouse feels like a stranger to you in some ways, don’t worry—this does not mean your relationship is doomed. You can reignite the love! In our coaching, we like to encourage couples to get curious about one another. Think of this as dating your spouse again to relearn their passions, hobbies, likes, and dislikes. You may also discover new ways to have fun with them.
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