Are You Confusing Activity with Connecting As a Couple?

Mark: Most of us would say we’re “busy.” Busy with work, busy getting the kids to all their activities, busy with family, busy serving at church, and the list goes on! Many of those activities we do side by side with our spouse. We go to church...

The Power Of A Live Event

Last summer was a summer of grief for me with the Hearts at Home organization bringing their season of ministry to a close. I never thought that would happen. Shortly thereafter, I heard the news that Women of Faith had canceled all of their Fall conferences in order...

The Top Books That Influenced Our Marriage

Jill: We’re often asked what the top books are that we read for our marriage.  To be honest, initially I was the reader in the relationship.  I would summarize to Mark what I’d read. In fact, I actually wrote my Is There Really Sex After Kids book that...

Hopeful or Hopeless?

Mark: Our emotions are important–God gave them to us.  However they don’t always tell us the truth. Jill: Emotions can be like waves that toss us to and fro…that’s why we need the anchor of Jesus Christ to give us a peace that passes...

35 Years of Refining

Mark: The year was 1982. The month was November. It was a late Saturday night, or probably more like the wee hours of Sunday morning, when I got a phone call from a friend who was heartbroken and had obviously had too much to drink. “Savage, she broke up with me. You...

When Your Spouse’s List Collides With Your List

Mark: Most of us have lists in our head. Things to do. Projects to finish. People to call. I admit that my lists are probably shorter than Jill’s lists…but I have several lists nonetheless. Jill: I have lists galore. There’s my yard work list. My...

What List Are You Trying To Cram Into Your Spouse’s Head?

Mark: It all started with a conversation at small group last week. Jill and I were sharing about the 8 God-Tools we talk about in our No More Perfect Marriages book.  It was when we got to the God-Tool of acceptance that it struck her. Jill: We had talked earlier...

How To Get Your Spouse To Respond To Your Requests

Mark: Last week’s Marriage Monday was a reminder of the importance of asking for what you need or want. Whether it’s bringing flowers when you pick me up at the airport (Jill’s want) or being sensitive to how my capacity is different than yours (Mark’s need), we have...

Just Ask For What You Need

Mark: About a year ago Jill said, “You know what I’d love when you pick me up at the airport?” “No,” I answered, “What would you love?” She responded, “That you would bring me flowers.”  I admit I was surprised at...

Are You Minimizing?

“We don’t get to decide what’s important to our spouse, but we do get to DISCOVER what’s important to them.” That quote is from this video we’re sharing for today’s Marriage Monday. The topic is minimizing and it’s...

The Power of a One-Minute Hug

Mark: It happens at every marriage seminar we do. We lead couples through a process that increases emotional safety in their communication. At the end of that conversation we ask them to enjoy a full body hug for a minute. Jill: After our first “talk break” they often...

Invest In Your Marriage Without Leaving Your House

It’s been 7 years since our marriage fell apart. We spent well over a year repairing the erosion damage caused by slow fades we didn’t even know existed. After those years of rebuilding our marriage, we determined we would never allow our marriage to...

What To Do With Your Imperfect Marriage

We left the marriage counselor’s office feeling a bit overwhelmed with the realization that sometimes marriage is really hard. Our nearly 30 years of marriage had experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. We knew for better and for worse. This season...

When An Introvert And An Extrovert Marry

Mark: I’m an extrovert. I’m refueled by being with people Jill: I’m an introvert. I’m refueled by being alone. Mark: This has caused more than a few challenges in our nearly 35 years of marriage. Jill: Initially, we were drawn to our differences. I loved how Mark was...

Are You A Dream-Maker or a Dream-Taker in Your Marriage?

Mark: I’m the dreamer in our marriage. I’m the one who has visions of romance dancing in my head. I’m the one who wants to splurge on occasion. I’m the one who has creativity and ideas flowing out of me all the time. Jill: And I’m the...